1
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:39,667
[ambulance bell ringing]

2
00:02:13,542 --> 00:02:14,792
[radio] <i>Silver Maid keeping ahead</i>

3
00:02:14,958 --> 00:02:16,583
<i>in front of Dasherand Boy Blue.</i>

4
00:02:16,750 --> 00:02:18,958
<i>But the favorite, Red Dice,
is now lengths behind.</i>

5
00:02:19,125 --> 00:02:20,667
<i>He's right out of it.</i>

6
00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:22,833
<i>Inside the last furlong,
and Dasher's taken it up!</i>

7
00:02:22,958 --> 00:02:24,333
<i>Moving through very smoothly.</i>

8
00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:26,208
<i>Silver Maid hangingon to second place.</i>

9
00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:28,542
<i>And at the post, it's
Dasher from Silver Maid's..</i>

10
00:02:41,625 --> 00:02:43,333
Well, did it win?

11
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,625
That nag should be going
into hospital, not you!

12
00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:46,292
Bad luck.

13
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,292
I wonder who won the baby stakes.

14
00:02:49,625 --> 00:02:50,667
Oh!

15
00:02:50,833 --> 00:02:52,708
Supposing I'd been on it!

16
00:03:00,958 --> 00:03:02,417
Ah! Where do I go?

17
00:03:02,708 --> 00:03:04,875
Hey! I can walk, you know.

18
00:03:05,042 --> 00:03:06,208
Nobody walks in here.

19
00:03:06,375 --> 00:03:07,917
Any chance of walking out?

20
00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:09,792
We've got to do the job proper.

21
00:03:35,375 --> 00:03:37,750
- Over here, Mr. York.
- Right, Nurse.

22
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:39,250
Thanks for the ride, boys.

23
00:03:39,417 --> 00:03:41,375
Give us a write-up in the papers.

24
00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:44,958
Will you get into bed, please?

25
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,042
I, um...didn't have time
to get my pajamas.

26
00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:49,167
Oh, that's all right.
You won't need any just now.

27
00:03:54,583 --> 00:03:56,042
Thanks.

28
00:03:56,208 --> 00:03:58,500
What's he got, then, Mick?

29
00:03:58,667 --> 00:03:59,917
Appendicitis.

30
00:04:00,083 --> 00:04:01,583
Ten days' job.

31
00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:04,917
Cor blimey! Only ten days.

32
00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:07,083
When I think how easily
that could have been avoided,

33
00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:10,167
I could kick myself, I tell you.

34
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,708
Did you hear what I said, then?

35
00:04:11,875 --> 00:04:13,458
I said I could kick meself!

36
00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:15,708
Kick meself, with that on, I said!

37
00:04:15,875 --> 00:04:18,083
I think that's very funny, Mick!
Don't you, Mick?

38
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:21,500
[laughing raucously]

39
00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:23,417
- Hello, Mick.
- Hello, Mr. Able.

40
00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:27,042
[continues laughing]

41
00:04:32,167 --> 00:04:33,750
There you are.

42
00:04:33,917 --> 00:04:35,292
What's that? A shroud?

43
00:04:35,458 --> 00:04:37,292
No, an operating gown.

44
00:04:41,083 --> 00:04:44,042
[buzzer]

45
00:04:50,917 --> 00:04:52,375
Your turn.

46
00:04:55,167 --> 00:04:56,375
Yes, Colonel?

47
00:04:56,542 --> 00:04:59,917
I want to see that ward orderly chap Mick.

48
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:01,375
You can't.

49
00:05:01,542 --> 00:05:04,083
It's our job to answer
the buzzer, not his.

50
00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:05,583
You've only been here half a day

51
00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:07,125
and you've called us a dozen times already

52
00:05:07,292 --> 00:05:08,208
for no good reason.

53
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,417
Now, do try and remember

54
00:05:09,583 --> 00:05:11,542
the buzzer's only for emergencies.

55
00:05:11,708 --> 00:05:13,042
This is an emergency.

56
00:05:13,208 --> 00:05:14,667
What kind of an emergency?

57
00:05:14,833 --> 00:05:16,792
Every time Mick comes in here,
he stays too long.

58
00:05:16,958 --> 00:05:18,708
I don't know what you two
find to talk about.

59
00:05:18,875 --> 00:05:20,042
I dare say you don't.

60
00:05:20,208 --> 00:05:21,417
There's some things we men talk about,

61
00:05:21,583 --> 00:05:22,958
it's better for women not to know.

62
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:24,375
I can imagine that.

63
00:05:24,542 --> 00:05:26,625
I doubt it, young lady. I doubt it.

64
00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:28,083
Well, what do you want him for?

65
00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:29,958
What can he do for you that I can't?

66
00:05:30,167 --> 00:05:31,208
Tell me that.

67
00:05:31,375 --> 00:05:32,792
Ho-ho-ho! Don't tempt me, girl.

68
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,833
Just tell Mick I want him,
would you, please?

69
00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:36,875
All right. Just this once.

70
00:05:42,625 --> 00:05:44,083
[knocking]

71
00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:45,417
Ah, Mick, my boy.

72
00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:46,750
That's right, shut the door.

73
00:05:46,917 --> 00:05:49,167
Now then, dictation. Got your notebook?

74
00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:50,875
- Yes, sir.
- Good.

75
00:05:51,042 --> 00:05:52,042
Here we are, then.

76
00:05:52,208 --> 00:05:54,917
Bob each way, the Black Prince.

77
00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:57,042
That's the 3:30 at Chepstow.

78
00:05:57,208 --> 00:05:59,917
Black Prince, 3:30 at Chepstow.

79
00:06:00,083 --> 00:06:02,875
Half a dollar to win, Rambler.

80
00:06:03,042 --> 00:06:04,833
R-A-M-B-L-E-R.

81
00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:07,958
Now that's the 4:15 at Redcar.

82
00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:10,167
4:15, Redcar.

83
00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:11,250
That's all, I think.

84
00:06:11,417 --> 00:06:12,458
Right, Colonel.

85
00:06:12,625 --> 00:06:13,958
Well, you just settle down, Colonel.

86
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:15,792
I'll wait for the results.

87
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:18,042
Oh, get me 20 players, would you, please?

88
00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:19,458
Yes, sir.

89
00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:21,125
Don't bother about that.

90
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:25,083
Good afternoon. Name?

91
00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:26,542
Oh. Good afternoon.

92
00:06:26,708 --> 00:06:28,417
Uh, York. Uh, Edward York.

93
00:06:28,583 --> 00:06:29,958
Address?

94
00:06:30,167 --> 00:06:32,167
Twenty four Passiondale Avenue.

95
00:06:32,333 --> 00:06:33,708
Age?

96
00:06:33,875 --> 00:06:34,917
Thirty-five.

97
00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:36,042
Occupation?

98
00:06:36,208 --> 00:06:37,917
News-- pap-- reporter.

99
00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:38,958
Relax.

100
00:06:39,125 --> 00:06:40,625
I was covering the baby show.

101
00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:41,917
Next of kin?

102
00:06:42,083 --> 00:06:42,958
No.

103
00:06:43,167 --> 00:06:44,292
Religion?

104
00:06:44,458 --> 00:06:46,958
Which lot has the best record of recovery?

105
00:06:47,125 --> 00:06:48,667
I'm very busy.

106
00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:49,917
Come along, now. C of E?

107
00:06:50,083 --> 00:06:51,250
False teeth?

108
00:06:51,417 --> 00:06:52,125
No.

109
00:06:52,292 --> 00:06:53,750
- Glass eye?
- No!

110
00:06:53,917 --> 00:06:55,833
And before you go any further,
the rest of me is my own!

111
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:58,417
Sign, please.
Consent for general anesthetic.

112
00:06:59,625 --> 00:07:01,417
- Ooh!
- Relax.

113
00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:10,542
Hello. I'm Mick.

114
00:07:10,708 --> 00:07:12,542
Hi, Mick.

115
00:07:12,708 --> 00:07:13,958
What's her trouble?

116
00:07:14,125 --> 00:07:16,292
Oh, night starvation.

117
00:07:17,583 --> 00:07:18,417
Gonna shave you.

118
00:07:18,583 --> 00:07:19,708
Shave?

119
00:07:19,875 --> 00:07:22,625
[laughing] My appendix isn't on my face!

120
00:07:22,792 --> 00:07:25,417
I'm not going to shave your face!

121
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:51,167
[buzzing]

122
00:07:53,917 --> 00:07:54,667
Yes, Colonel?

123
00:07:54,917 --> 00:07:56,542
I'm all crumby!

124
00:07:56,792 --> 00:08:00,500
If you will stuff yourself
with those crumbly biscuits--

125
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:02,208
Well, I have to have
some pleasure, damn it.

126
00:08:02,375 --> 00:08:04,167
Well, hop out and I'll
take the crumbs away.

127
00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:05,958
Where's that fella Mick got to?

128
00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:08,667
He's doing something for Sister.

129
00:08:08,833 --> 00:08:10,292
Can I help?

130
00:08:10,458 --> 00:08:12,667
Not unless you know what won
the 4:15 at Redcar, you can't.

131
00:08:12,833 --> 00:08:15,292
Oh, you and your racing.
All right, get in.

132
00:08:15,458 --> 00:08:16,667
Thank you.

133
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,375
Oh, I wish you wouldn't
eat those biscuits!

134
00:08:22,542 --> 00:08:26,333
I eat biscuits, my girl,
to calm my nerves.

135
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,500
Rambler won it. 3-1.

136
00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:29,500
Comfy now?

137
00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:31,417
- Yes.
- [door closes]

138
00:08:31,583 --> 00:08:34,458
Rambler, do you say? Hoo hoo! Ha ha!

139
00:08:34,625 --> 00:08:36,250
Good old Rambler!

140
00:08:36,417 --> 00:08:37,875
Oh, we'll have a new one now.

141
00:08:43,875 --> 00:08:46,375
- Oof.
- I warned you.

142
00:08:46,542 --> 00:08:47,875
Thank you.

143
00:08:48,917 --> 00:08:50,083
Sister...

144
00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:51,667
I'm not a Sister, I'm a staff nurse.

145
00:08:51,833 --> 00:08:53,792
Oh? How do I tell the difference?

146
00:08:53,958 --> 00:08:56,583
Student nurses wear big hats.
We call them butterflies.

147
00:08:56,750 --> 00:08:58,375
- You call them what?
- Butterflies.

148
00:08:58,542 --> 00:08:59,750
Ah, I like that.

149
00:08:59,917 --> 00:09:00,875
They don't.

150
00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:02,500
And staff nurses wear these. Got it?

151
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,875
Yes. I think you're wonderful.

152
00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:07,292
Relax, Mr. York.

153
00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:12,792
Oh!

154
00:09:14,042 --> 00:09:14,958
Nurse Dawson!

155
00:09:15,292 --> 00:09:17,500
Is it your intention to wreck my ward?

156
00:09:24,458 --> 00:09:25,583
Who are you?

157
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:26,958
I'm a nurse.

158
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,792
You're in hospital, but you're all right.

159
00:09:28,958 --> 00:09:30,833
[sighs and moans]

160
00:09:30,958 --> 00:09:32,500
Let's have a beer.

161
00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:35,458
You can't have a beer, Mr. York.

162
00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:37,250
She'll give me a beer.

163
00:09:37,417 --> 00:09:38,917
I'll go...

164
00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:40,708
Cor!

165
00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:42,042
Somebody stabbed me!

166
00:09:42,208 --> 00:09:43,833
Lie still, you've got a drain in you.

167
00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:50,042
Now that you've made my bed,
you can lie on it!

168
00:09:50,208 --> 00:09:52,375
- [screams]
- Mmm!

169
00:09:52,542 --> 00:09:53,333
Why, Mr. York!

170
00:09:59,042 --> 00:10:00,542
Mr. York!

171
00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:02,667
Oh, I'm sorry, Staff.

172
00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:04,375
I was just trying to get
Mr. York to settle down.

173
00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:05,542
For life?

174
00:10:05,708 --> 00:10:09,833
Lovely! [laughs]

175
00:10:11,083 --> 00:10:12,833
When you're on night duty, nurse,

176
00:10:12,958 --> 00:10:15,833
always carry a couple
of sleeping pills with you.

177
00:10:15,958 --> 00:10:18,250
There isn't always time
to go and fetch them.

178
00:10:18,417 --> 00:10:20,375
Yes, Staff. Thank you.

179
00:10:20,542 --> 00:10:22,917
Buck up, there's another patient
coming in.

180
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,792
Cor, what a place.

181
00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:28,333
Bath, sluice room, sterili-- Jane!

182
00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:30,917
[alarm bell sounding]

183
00:10:31,083 --> 00:10:33,667
Look, my hand's all right.
I keep telling everybody.

184
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:34,958
I don't have to come here.

185
00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:35,958
[buzzing]

186
00:10:36,125 --> 00:10:38,625
All you need is just to rub it.

187
00:10:38,792 --> 00:10:40,083
I don't like this place at all.

188
00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:41,375
There's lights, and bells, and buzzers...

189
00:10:41,542 --> 00:10:43,625
Come on, Bernie.

190
00:10:43,792 --> 00:10:44,958
E-e-excuse me, Miss.

191
00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:46,375
Uh, I think there's been
a bit of a mistake.

192
00:10:46,542 --> 00:10:47,833
I don't have to stay here, you see.

193
00:10:47,958 --> 00:10:49,292
Through there, please.

194
00:10:55,917 --> 00:10:57,333
I'm not going in there.
It's full of sick people.

195
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:59,083
I'll catch something.

196
00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:00,875
You've already got something.
For heaven's sake, go in!

197
00:11:01,083 --> 00:11:02,250
[muffled] I'm not going--

198
00:11:02,417 --> 00:11:04,542
Ah. Mr. Bishop? Come in, will you, please?

199
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,042
Now, will you please get into bed?

200
00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:09,875
Look, uh, miss, I'm quite
all right, you see.

201
00:11:10,042 --> 00:11:11,292
I-- I've sprained my wrist
in a fight before

202
00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:12,667
and without all this trouble.

203
00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:14,125
All I need is a bit of the old massage.

204
00:11:14,292 --> 00:11:15,333
Well, your X-ray shows
a severe dislocation

205
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:16,958
and a callus fracture.

206
00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:18,750
Yeah, well, the X-ray's wrong.
It's just a sprain.

207
00:11:18,917 --> 00:11:20,750
- I'll be as right as rain in--
- Shall I give you a hand?

208
00:11:20,917 --> 00:11:22,042
No, that won't be necessary, thanks.

209
00:11:22,208 --> 00:11:23,667
Bernie, you do as you're told.

210
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:26,917
Yeah, but the point is, all...
[sighs] Whatever.

211
00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:29,542
All right, darling.

212
00:11:31,208 --> 00:11:32,542
Kiss the baby for me.

213
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:36,833
Now, Mr. Bishop,
will you sit down, please?

214
00:11:36,958 --> 00:11:39,042
Hey! Mr. Hickson!

215
00:11:39,375 --> 00:11:41,167
Mr. Hickson!

216
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:42,625
Hmm?

217
00:11:43,917 --> 00:11:44,792
What? What?

218
00:11:44,958 --> 00:11:46,625
Bernie Bishop's just come in.

219
00:11:46,917 --> 00:11:47,958
The boxer.

220
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,375
He's hurt his hand.

221
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,958
What do you expect me to do? Stand--

222
00:11:52,125 --> 00:11:55,083
[whispering] Stand up and cheer?

223
00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:57,417
Do me a favor, will you?

224
00:11:57,583 --> 00:11:58,375
Go to sleep.

225
00:11:58,625 --> 00:12:00,208
Sorry.

226
00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:01,500
I thought you were a fan.

227
00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:04,917
Let's all get a bit of peace.

228
00:12:05,083 --> 00:12:07,625
This is a madhouse.
I'll be glad when I get home.

229
00:12:07,792 --> 00:12:10,542
Bernie Bishop, he says. Bernie...[snores]

230
00:12:11,708 --> 00:12:13,667
Cor! What a punch, though.

231
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,208
He landed in Row F.

232
00:12:15,375 --> 00:12:17,333
Well, don't worry.
They'll soon fix that hand

233
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:18,958
so that you don't roll on it
when you're asleep.

234
00:12:19,167 --> 00:12:20,667
- All right.
- Stand up, please.

235
00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:21,958
Okay.

236
00:12:22,958 --> 00:12:25,042
- There.
- Right.

237
00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:26,667
- Now...
- Eh? What? What, what?

238
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,208
Well, you can't sleep in those.

239
00:12:28,375 --> 00:12:29,542
That's quite all right.

240
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,250
I can take them off.

241
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,458
With one hand?

242
00:12:32,625 --> 00:12:33,917
Yeah, yeah, I can manage. Thank you.

243
00:12:34,083 --> 00:12:35,583
You two ladies,
just turn your backs, please.

244
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:36,958
Good. Wait a minute.

245
00:12:37,167 --> 00:12:38,375
Hey, what's going on? You can't do...

246
00:12:38,542 --> 00:12:42,625
What a source! Nurse! Please! Cor!

247
00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:44,833
What a fuss about such a little thing.

248
00:12:45,083 --> 00:12:47,875
[footsteps leaving]

249
00:12:54,292 --> 00:12:55,958
[buzzing]

250
00:12:59,708 --> 00:13:01,042
Come in.

251
00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:04,625
Good morning, Colonel.

252
00:13:04,792 --> 00:13:06,375
It's not. No racing.

253
00:13:06,542 --> 00:13:08,667
What are we going to do to
amuse ourselves today, eh?

254
00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:10,917
I really don't know, sir.

255
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:13,917
Not unless you're interested
in a little private wager, sir.

256
00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:15,042
What are you talking about?

257
00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:16,833
- With me, that is.
- Hmm?

258
00:13:16,958 --> 00:13:19,458
You see, it's Matron's round today.

259
00:13:19,625 --> 00:13:22,875
Well, now she usually averages
about 14 minutes 10

260
00:13:23,042 --> 00:13:26,917
to about 16 minutes 30 seconds
from the top of the stairs

261
00:13:27,083 --> 00:13:28,458
to the last bed in the ward.

262
00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:30,875
Half a crown on the
nearest time to a second, eh?

263
00:13:31,042 --> 00:13:32,208
- That's it.
- Are you on?

264
00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:33,958
- I'm on, sir.
- Got a stopwatch?

265
00:13:34,167 --> 00:13:35,375
I'll get one.

266
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:40,875
[waxer buzzing]

267
00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:52,667
Just a moment. Don't... I want that!

268
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,292
I'm sorry, it's Matron's round.

269
00:13:56,125 --> 00:13:57,167
What's going on?

270
00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:59,125
Matron's round.

271
00:13:59,292 --> 00:14:01,417
I don't care if she's triangular.

272
00:14:04,667 --> 00:14:05,750
Mick!

273
00:14:05,917 --> 00:14:07,333
Mick!

274
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:10,500
Mick! The veranda!
Sweep the veranda first!

275
00:14:12,917 --> 00:14:13,917
Do you mind!

276
00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:15,583
Oh, please! Let's get on!

277
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,958
[giggles] I say!

278
00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:22,458
You don't know what you've missed.

279
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:24,667
- Don't I?
- The most marvelous recipe.

280
00:14:24,833 --> 00:14:27,042
Don't you worry, I shall be
at it the moment I get out.

281
00:14:27,208 --> 00:14:28,583
It's made in a flash.

282
00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:30,458
Camper's Jamboree Folly.

283
00:14:30,625 --> 00:14:32,167
I have it here.

284
00:14:32,333 --> 00:14:33,583
You take a couple of red raisins,

285
00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:35,500
two whites of eggs, one grated earphone...

286
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,542
Earphones? Oh! You wicked, bad girl!

287
00:14:37,708 --> 00:14:39,625
I shall miss the next program.

288
00:14:40,167 --> 00:14:41,500
Feudal! That's what this place is!

289
00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:43,458
Feudal! I could choke!

290
00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:46,125
I'm studying nuclear physics,
the thing of the future.

291
00:14:46,292 --> 00:14:47,500
I've got an examination to pass,

292
00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:49,250
and I am delayed because a survival

293
00:14:49,417 --> 00:14:50,750
from the surgical Stone Age

294
00:14:50,917 --> 00:14:52,875
called a matron is going
to walk through here!

295
00:14:53,042 --> 00:14:55,875
I could spit! I could scream!

296
00:14:56,042 --> 00:14:57,250
My name's Oliver Reckitt.

297
00:14:57,417 --> 00:14:58,958
You've made rather a mess of your hand.

298
00:14:59,167 --> 00:14:59,917
Industrial injury?

299
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,083
Uh, p-p-pardon?

300
00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:03,875
Hurt it at your work?

301
00:15:04,083 --> 00:15:06,750
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

302
00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:07,917
I'm a boxer.

303
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:09,917
How savage.

304
00:15:10,417 --> 00:15:12,083
It's no more savage than
what you're doing, mate.

305
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:14,292
Pressing buttons, and making explosions

306
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:15,833
and giving everybody horrible
weather in the summer.

307
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:18,917
Come along! Come along!
Come along, please!

308
00:15:28,458 --> 00:15:29,292
Yes?

309
00:15:29,458 --> 00:15:30,708
Ah, good morning.

310
00:15:30,875 --> 00:15:32,417
My name's Perkins, Ted York's editor.

311
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:33,917
I've just brought some things
along from his digs.

312
00:15:34,083 --> 00:15:35,958
Can I see him?
Um, newspaper man, you know.

313
00:15:36,125 --> 00:15:38,125
Very busy at nights. I doubt
if he'll get anybody, you know.

314
00:15:38,292 --> 00:15:39,917
Go along in here now, out of the way.

315
00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:41,125
If I can't see him now...
Oh, yes, of course...

316
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:42,917
Well-- well, Ted will never
get a single visitor,

317
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:43,958
you know, unless I can--

318
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:47,583
- Oh, good morning, Matron.
- Good morning, Sister.

319
00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:49,167
Come along, come along. We must be quick.

320
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:50,875
I'm clue at a meeting. Now...

321
00:15:52,417 --> 00:15:53,917
- Good morning, Mr. York.
- Good morning.

322
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:55,250
Everything all right, I hope?

323
00:15:55,417 --> 00:15:56,792
Yes, thank you, Matron.

324
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,083
- Nurse?
- Shh!

325
00:16:04,542 --> 00:16:06,333
[loudly] Good morning, Mr. Hinton!

326
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:09,958
[laughing raucously]

327
00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:11,542
Mr. Hinton, please!

328
00:16:13,583 --> 00:16:15,125
Ah!

329
00:16:15,292 --> 00:16:16,333
Beg pardon.

330
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:18,250
You're all right.

331
00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:29,875
[laughing raucously]

332
00:16:30,042 --> 00:16:31,708
Feeling all right today?

333
00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:33,625
As well as can be expected.

334
00:16:36,958 --> 00:16:37,958
Well, if that's all there is to it,

335
00:16:38,125 --> 00:16:39,333
why all the fear and trembling?

336
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:40,958
You'll see. That wasn't typical.

337
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,583
Stick around a few days.

338
00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:44,958
I haven't got much choice, have I?

339
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:46,750
Carry on, Sister.

340
00:16:46,917 --> 00:16:48,417
Thank you, Matron.

341
00:16:53,167 --> 00:16:54,333
Can I come out now?

342
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,958
Yes, Mr. Perkins, yes.
But be quick, please.

343
00:16:56,167 --> 00:16:57,292
Thank you, thank you very much.

344
00:16:57,458 --> 00:16:59,542
Come along, everybody! Back to work!

345
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:07,167
Crikey, Colonel!

346
00:17:07,333 --> 00:17:10,333
She broke an all-time record today!

347
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,708
12 minutes, 20 seconds.

348
00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:17,708
Now, I said 14:02. You said 14:50.

349
00:17:17,875 --> 00:17:19,167
You owe me half a crown, guv.

350
00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:20,375
All right. There's the money there.

351
00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:21,875
Help yourself.

352
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,333
I'll toss you, double or quits.

353
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,667
Well, I must fly, sir.

354
00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:26,333
I-- I'm all of a rush this morning.

355
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:27,458
Blast the matron.

356
00:17:27,792 --> 00:17:29,292
Listen.

357
00:17:29,458 --> 00:17:32,292
Hospital life from the
patient's point of view.

358
00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:34,292
Byline, Ted York. Dateline on the spot.

359
00:17:34,458 --> 00:17:35,792
A series. It's sure-fire.

360
00:17:35,958 --> 00:17:38,167
Look, everybody's interested
in the hospitals.

361
00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:39,708
Look, we can't miss.

362
00:17:39,875 --> 00:17:42,083
I'll run special supplements,
special advertising.

363
00:17:42,250 --> 00:17:44,083
I'll give you a bonus.

364
00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:45,333
It's as good as written.

365
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:46,625
That's my boy.

366
00:17:46,792 --> 00:17:47,917
All you've got to do is to sit here

367
00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:49,625
and watch and listen and write.

368
00:17:49,792 --> 00:17:51,292
Now don't forget the bonus.

369
00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:52,583
I won't.

370
00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:54,292
I'm sorry, you must go now, Mr. Perkins.

371
00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:57,500
Mr. Stephens is making his
round a little earlier today.

372
00:17:57,667 --> 00:17:58,708
Certainly.

373
00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:00,708
Don't forget, Ted. Keep it clean.

374
00:18:00,875 --> 00:18:02,417
Bye-bye. Bye, Nurse.

375
00:18:11,708 --> 00:18:14,167
Oh, uh, what's all this
about an anesthetic?

376
00:18:14,458 --> 00:18:16,208
I just thought I needed a drop
of the old massage, innit.

377
00:18:16,375 --> 00:18:17,958
Well, we have to manipulate your wrist,

378
00:18:18,125 --> 00:18:19,792
set your hand in plaster of Paris.

379
00:18:19,958 --> 00:18:20,917
The pain would be too great--

380
00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:22,667
Oh, now come on, doc, please.

381
00:18:22,833 --> 00:18:24,958
I can bear any amount of pain.

382
00:18:25,125 --> 00:18:27,083
You just do what you have to right now.

383
00:18:27,250 --> 00:18:28,792
I've read about your
left hook, Mr. Bishop.

384
00:18:28,958 --> 00:18:30,667
I've no desire to feel it.

385
00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:34,208
You'd be well advised to sign.

386
00:18:34,375 --> 00:18:35,500
You'll be here a week.

387
00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:37,542
After that, with a little luck,

388
00:18:37,708 --> 00:18:39,958
you'll fight again in about
three months' time.

389
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,625
I'm sorry, there's no quicker way.

390
00:18:49,458 --> 00:18:52,542
Being in a public ward
is quite an experience for me,

391
00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:54,792
and a surprisingly pleasant one,
I must admit.

392
00:18:54,958 --> 00:18:57,500
Mind you, of course,
coddling can go too far.

393
00:18:57,667 --> 00:18:58,833
Definitely.

394
00:18:58,958 --> 00:19:00,458
Private enterprise, that's the ticket.

395
00:19:00,625 --> 00:19:02,667
I mean, you-- you take my house,
for instance,

396
00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:05,708
on the, uh, the west side of the common.

397
00:19:05,875 --> 00:19:06,958
I saw it on a Monday,

398
00:19:07,167 --> 00:19:09,333
brought off a deal in the city on Tuesday,

399
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,833
bought it on the Wednesday,
cash on the nail.

400
00:19:11,958 --> 00:19:14,750
Private enterprise.
There is nothing like it.

401
00:19:14,917 --> 00:19:16,875
Definitely. That's how I got my house.

402
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:20,625
You... You've got your own place?

403
00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:22,875
Yes. The manor. West side of the common.

404
00:19:23,042 --> 00:19:25,958
What, that lovely, stately... But...

405
00:19:26,167 --> 00:19:27,458
You own that?

406
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:31,792
Rent it. 23 bob a...
No, no, no, I'm a liar.

407
00:19:31,958 --> 00:19:34,417
Twenty two and ninepence a week,
from the council.

408
00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:35,917
But... But... But how?

409
00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:37,958
Well, they had to give us somewhere.

410
00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:39,792
I've got 11 kids.

411
00:19:39,958 --> 00:19:41,583
Private enterprise. Definitely.

412
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:46,667
May I borrow your chair?

413
00:19:46,833 --> 00:19:47,917
Mm-hmm.

414
00:20:00,750 --> 00:20:03,333
[inaudible]

415
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:15,333
All right?

416
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:16,292
I was.

417
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:21,333
[classical music playing]

418
00:20:33,792 --> 00:20:35,083
I want to talk to you.

419
00:20:35,250 --> 00:20:36,333
I want to talk to <i>you.</i>

420
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:38,042
Oh? What about?

421
00:20:38,208 --> 00:20:39,583
Yes or no today?

422
00:20:39,750 --> 00:20:41,250
Well, as a matter of fact...

423
00:20:41,417 --> 00:20:42,917
No.

424
00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:50,292
- Ugn.
- Drink it.

425
00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:53,917
Urgh!

426
00:21:11,792 --> 00:21:13,083
[coughing]

427
00:21:13,250 --> 00:21:16,875
[indistinct chatter]

428
00:21:27,917 --> 00:21:29,250
Good evening, Mr. York.

429
00:21:29,417 --> 00:21:30,625
Hello!

430
00:21:30,792 --> 00:21:32,292
Would you like a hospital visitor?

431
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,208
- A what?
- A hospital visitor.

432
00:21:34,375 --> 00:21:36,208
Someone who volunteers
to chat with patients

433
00:21:36,375 --> 00:21:37,833
who have no visitors.

434
00:21:37,958 --> 00:21:39,875
No, thank you.

435
00:21:40,042 --> 00:21:41,292
You visit me.

436
00:21:41,458 --> 00:21:43,292
You see enough of me all clay.

437
00:21:47,917 --> 00:21:49,250
Hmm?

438
00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:53,583
Cor!

439
00:21:53,833 --> 00:21:55,958
A lady referee.

440
00:21:56,167 --> 00:21:58,208
Back in the land of the living,
Mr. Bishop?

441
00:21:58,375 --> 00:22:02,542
I got the compensation
form from the union, clear.

442
00:22:02,708 --> 00:22:04,083
Well, it's about time.

443
00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:05,417
Let's fill it in.

444
00:22:15,208 --> 00:22:18,708
How do you expect to fill that
thing in properly like that?

445
00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:20,458
Why don't you find something to lean on?

446
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:26,125
I'll take this book.

447
00:22:27,167 --> 00:22:28,667
Take this book.

448
00:22:30,792 --> 00:22:33,625
Full name.

449
00:22:33,792 --> 00:22:35,458
Well, don't tell me
you don't know that by now.

450
00:22:35,625 --> 00:22:37,708
No, it's all right, clear.

451
00:22:37,875 --> 00:22:39,542
I was only thinking aloud.

452
00:22:39,708 --> 00:22:42,625
Oh. Block letters.

453
00:22:47,958 --> 00:22:50,125
Now, date of accident.

454
00:22:50,292 --> 00:22:51,292
Twenty-seventh.

455
00:22:51,458 --> 00:22:52,583
No, dear, it couldn't have been.

456
00:22:52,750 --> 00:22:53,792
Look, I ought to know.

457
00:22:53,958 --> 00:22:55,333
No, dear, it couldn't have been.

458
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:57,667
Because the 27th I went to see Grandma.

459
00:22:57,833 --> 00:22:59,833
You came to fetch me at the station.

460
00:22:59,958 --> 00:23:01,083
- Look-- What--
- You couldn't have clone that

461
00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:03,250
with a broken leg, clear, could you?

462
00:23:03,417 --> 00:23:04,583
What difference does it make?

463
00:23:04,750 --> 00:23:06,500
Well, it must have been
the next clay, then.

464
00:23:06,667 --> 00:23:09,583
All right. So it was the next clay.

465
00:23:09,750 --> 00:23:11,167
What difference does it make?

466
00:23:11,333 --> 00:23:14,708
Oh, Perc, do try and be reasonable.

467
00:23:14,875 --> 00:23:16,542
Heh! Reasonable.

468
00:23:16,708 --> 00:23:18,583
Well, I mean, you've got to be
accurate on these things,

469
00:23:18,750 --> 00:23:23,875
otherwise, well, anybody
could write in and claim.

470
00:23:24,042 --> 00:23:27,125
M-Marge, look, just you
write it down, girl, eh?

471
00:23:27,292 --> 00:23:28,500
Just get it down, that's all.

472
00:23:28,750 --> 00:23:32,458
Now, do you expect

473
00:23:32,625 --> 00:23:36,792
this incapacity to last more than a week?

474
00:23:36,958 --> 00:23:39,458
No, I'm... I'm going to a dance tonight.

475
00:23:39,625 --> 00:23:41,292
Oh, Perc, do help!

476
00:23:41,458 --> 00:23:44,458
Well, it gives me the sick,
all these daft questions!

477
00:23:44,625 --> 00:23:46,917
Well, they've got to know
these things, clear.

478
00:23:47,083 --> 00:23:48,333
Look!

479
00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:50,625
I fell off a scaffolding!
I broke my perishing leg!

480
00:23:50,792 --> 00:23:51,958
Now what more do they want to know?

481
00:23:52,125 --> 00:23:54,667
My father's chest measurements?

482
00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:57,333
Oh, cor blimey. Now... Now...

483
00:23:57,500 --> 00:23:58,417
Now don't you start.

484
00:23:58,667 --> 00:24:01,125
I can't help it.

485
00:24:01,292 --> 00:24:02,958
It's too much.

486
00:24:03,167 --> 00:24:09,458
You stuck in here, your leg
stuck up there, I'm all alone.

487
00:24:09,625 --> 00:24:11,875
I know. With three kids.

488
00:24:12,125 --> 00:24:14,917
Oh, Perc, don't!

489
00:24:17,208 --> 00:24:18,875
Marge. Marge, I'm sorry.

490
00:24:19,042 --> 00:24:21,458
Now don't go on like that, girl.

491
00:24:21,625 --> 00:24:24,125
I-- I get fed up, you see,
stuck in here like this.

492
00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:27,125
Oh, I know, I know.

493
00:24:28,833 --> 00:24:30,625
It's not very easy for me,

494
00:24:30,792 --> 00:24:33,542
and now you won't even help
to fill the form out.

495
00:24:33,708 --> 00:24:36,042
- I know.
- It's too much, Percy.

496
00:24:36,208 --> 00:24:37,958
It's too much for me!

497
00:24:38,125 --> 00:24:40,458
Well-- well, look, I'm sorry, girl.

498
00:24:40,625 --> 00:24:41,542
I'm... I'm sorry.

499
00:24:41,708 --> 00:24:43,625
Percy'll kiss it better, eh?

500
00:24:46,958 --> 00:24:49,250
Um... Marge, I...

501
00:24:49,417 --> 00:24:50,958
You'll have to come closer, girl.

502
00:24:51,167 --> 00:24:52,958
You see, I...

503
00:24:53,125 --> 00:24:54,750
I can't move, you know.

504
00:24:58,667 --> 00:24:59,792
Hmm?

505
00:24:59,958 --> 00:25:01,875
Oh, untie my hand, nurse,
will you, please?

506
00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:03,958
Not yet. You might fall asleep again.

507
00:25:04,167 --> 00:25:05,667
Oh...

508
00:25:05,833 --> 00:25:07,875
Oh, take-- t-take all these
screens away, nurse.

509
00:25:08,042 --> 00:25:09,917
Pl-- I can't bear being shut in. Please.

510
00:25:10,083 --> 00:25:11,667
All right.

511
00:25:13,458 --> 00:25:16,958
Oh, my little boy. [laughs] Yeah.

512
00:25:17,167 --> 00:25:20,625
Cor, you should see his right
when he punches our cat.

513
00:25:20,792 --> 00:25:22,292
Ooh!

514
00:25:39,042 --> 00:25:40,208
Hello.

515
00:25:40,375 --> 00:25:42,333
I'm Jill Thompson.

516
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:44,542
Harry Thompson's sister.

517
00:25:44,708 --> 00:25:47,083
Oh, yes, of course.

518
00:25:47,250 --> 00:25:48,875
Uh, well, do sit down, please.

519
00:25:52,833 --> 00:25:54,833
Harry's sorry he couldn't get here.

520
00:25:54,958 --> 00:25:56,708
Well, he sent some books.

521
00:25:56,875 --> 00:25:58,500
Oh, thank you.

522
00:25:59,667 --> 00:26:00,917
Hmm...

523
00:26:01,083 --> 00:26:03,375
<i>Problems Of Radiation.</i>

524
00:26:03,542 --> 00:26:05,333
<i>Nuclear Physics Advanced Theory.</i>

525
00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:06,750
Oh, splendid.

526
00:26:06,917 --> 00:26:08,083
What's this?

527
00:26:08,250 --> 00:26:09,792
<i>Wakefield's Practical Surgery?</i>

528
00:26:09,958 --> 00:26:11,958
Oh, clear, Harry must have
put that in by mistake.

529
00:26:12,167 --> 00:26:13,417
Never mind.

530
00:26:13,583 --> 00:26:17,625
Yeah... looks absorbing enough.

531
00:26:17,792 --> 00:26:18,708
Yes, indeed.

532
00:26:18,958 --> 00:26:20,375
You look pale, though.

533
00:26:20,542 --> 00:26:21,917
There's no getting away from it.

534
00:26:22,083 --> 00:26:23,750
Ah, it's probably because I can't sleep.

535
00:26:23,917 --> 00:26:25,250
Being away from you, I expect.

536
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,583
- Shh.
- No, honest.

537
00:26:27,750 --> 00:26:30,708
Well, you must sleep.
Ask the doctor for something.

538
00:26:30,875 --> 00:26:32,708
Don't be silly.
He can't give me what I need.

539
00:26:32,875 --> 00:26:34,417
- Bert!
- Well!

540
00:26:37,250 --> 00:26:38,500
I'm awfully sorry.

541
00:26:38,667 --> 00:26:40,208
I do appreciate your bringing them.

542
00:26:40,375 --> 00:26:42,208
Harry told me you live for your work.

543
00:26:42,375 --> 00:26:43,958
Where have we met before?

544
00:26:44,125 --> 00:26:46,083
I have a curious feeling we've met.

545
00:26:46,250 --> 00:26:48,042
At home, once.

546
00:26:48,208 --> 00:26:50,042
Oh,
yes.

547
00:26:51,750 --> 00:26:52,833
How are you getting on?

548
00:26:52,958 --> 00:26:54,250
All right, thank you.

549
00:26:54,417 --> 00:26:55,875
That's good.

550
00:26:57,042 --> 00:26:59,417
Is there anything else I can bring you?

551
00:26:59,583 --> 00:27:00,917
Oh, no. No, thanks.

552
00:27:02,333 --> 00:27:05,125
Visiting time's nearly over.
I think I'll go.

553
00:27:05,292 --> 00:27:06,417
Must you?

554
00:27:06,583 --> 00:27:08,083
Perhaps I'll look in again sometime.

555
00:27:08,250 --> 00:27:09,292
You might want something.

556
00:27:09,458 --> 00:27:11,458
Oh, do. That's most kind.

557
00:27:11,625 --> 00:27:13,500
- Good bye.
- Good bye.

558
00:27:15,042 --> 00:27:17,208
Cor!

559
00:27:17,375 --> 00:27:20,750
You ought to be ashamed
of yourself, Oliver.

560
00:27:20,917 --> 00:27:24,708
Cor! What a way to treat
your nice girlfriend.

561
00:27:24,875 --> 00:27:26,250
She is not my girlfriend.

562
00:27:26,500 --> 00:27:28,417
Ooh! [chuckles]

563
00:27:28,583 --> 00:27:29,875
She'd like to be, mate.

564
00:27:31,542 --> 00:27:33,958
Yeah, you can take it from me.

565
00:27:34,125 --> 00:27:35,708
She'd like to be.

566
00:27:39,250 --> 00:27:41,542
[bell rings]

567
00:27:41,708 --> 00:27:43,208
Oh, Nurse Dawson.

568
00:27:43,375 --> 00:27:45,125
Visiting time's over.
Ring the bell, will you?

569
00:27:45,292 --> 00:27:46,375
Yes, Sister.

570
00:27:46,542 --> 00:27:48,708
[buzzing]

571
00:27:48,875 --> 00:27:51,500
All right, I'm coming!

572
00:27:51,667 --> 00:27:53,125
[alarm rings]

573
00:27:57,333 --> 00:27:58,917
[Sirens]

574
00:28:08,292 --> 00:28:09,458
Seconds out!

575
00:28:10,792 --> 00:28:11,958
Nurse Dawson.

576
00:28:12,167 --> 00:28:13,250
Yes, Sister?

577
00:28:13,417 --> 00:28:14,333
I thought I told you to ring the bell.

578
00:28:14,500 --> 00:28:15,500
Well, I did, Sister.

579
00:28:15,667 --> 00:28:16,917
Then why are the visitors still here?

580
00:28:17,083 --> 00:28:18,250
Well, I don't know, I...

581
00:28:18,417 --> 00:28:19,958
[Sirens]

582
00:28:24,667 --> 00:28:26,250
Oh, crikey.

583
00:28:31,167 --> 00:28:32,792
[coughing]

584
00:28:34,917 --> 00:28:36,792
What's the matter, Mr. York?
Can't you sleep?

585
00:28:38,292 --> 00:28:39,292
Wind?

586
00:28:39,458 --> 00:28:40,667
Nurse.

587
00:28:41,833 --> 00:28:42,750
Staff?

588
00:28:42,917 --> 00:28:43,833
Yes?

589
00:28:43,958 --> 00:28:45,458
Sorry about last night. I was a bad boy.

590
00:28:45,625 --> 00:28:47,583
Oh, I've seen worse.

591
00:28:47,750 --> 00:28:48,917
Do you like night work?

592
00:28:49,083 --> 00:28:50,167
YES.

593
00:28:50,333 --> 00:28:51,542
Nice and peaceful, eh?

594
00:28:51,708 --> 00:28:53,042
Sometimes.

595
00:28:54,042 --> 00:28:54,917
Good night.

596
00:28:55,083 --> 00:28:56,167
Good night.

597
00:28:57,292 --> 00:28:58,792
Oh, thanks, Nurse.

598
00:29:04,250 --> 00:29:05,958
Oh, my gut!

599
00:29:11,125 --> 00:29:12,458
Hello, you're early.

600
00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:13,833
Sister told me to sterilize

601
00:29:13,958 --> 00:29:15,125
these rubber catheters last night.

602
00:29:15,292 --> 00:29:16,458
It went clean out of my head.

603
00:29:16,625 --> 00:29:17,875
I've just got time.

604
00:29:18,042 --> 00:29:19,125
No, you haven't. The sterilizer's full.

605
00:29:19,292 --> 00:29:20,875
Oh, crikey!

606
00:29:21,042 --> 00:29:22,583
[buzzing]

607
00:29:22,750 --> 00:29:24,250
Don't panic.

608
00:29:24,417 --> 00:29:25,833
I'll put them in a kidney dish
on the gas stove for you,

609
00:29:25,958 --> 00:29:27,375
- if you'll see what he wants.
- Okay, thanks.

610
00:29:32,750 --> 00:29:33,708
What is it, Colonel?

611
00:29:33,875 --> 00:29:35,292
Hello, you're early.

612
00:29:35,458 --> 00:29:38,458
Well, anyone would think
I was always four hours late.

613
00:29:38,625 --> 00:29:39,875
What can I do for you?

614
00:29:40,042 --> 00:29:41,542
Dashed if I can remember. Coming
in early, I guess

615
00:29:41,708 --> 00:29:43,042
you've put it right out of my head.

616
00:29:43,208 --> 00:29:44,958
Well, suppose you buzz again
when you remember.

617
00:29:45,125 --> 00:29:46,125
<i>If</i> it's important.

618
00:29:46,292 --> 00:29:47,458
What do you mean, "if"?

619
00:29:47,625 --> 00:29:48,958
Of course it's important-- Oh, I remember!

620
00:29:49,125 --> 00:29:50,833
It's my pulse, it's racing.

621
00:29:50,958 --> 00:29:52,292
Like I ought to be today.

622
00:29:52,458 --> 00:29:53,750
It's your imagination, Colonel.

623
00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:55,792
Positively pounding, I tell you.

624
00:29:55,958 --> 00:29:57,375
You're feeling the wrong place.

625
00:29:57,542 --> 00:29:58,667
Give it to me.

626
00:29:59,625 --> 00:30:00,625
What did I tell you?

627
00:30:00,792 --> 00:30:02,250
Shh!

628
00:30:03,542 --> 00:30:04,375
Quite normal.

629
00:30:04,542 --> 00:30:05,792
Impossible!

630
00:30:05,958 --> 00:30:08,542
Patients aren't allowed to contradict.

631
00:30:11,333 --> 00:30:12,208
Hello!

632
00:30:12,375 --> 00:30:13,667
You're early.

633
00:30:13,833 --> 00:30:14,958
The next person says that to me,

634
00:30:15,167 --> 00:30:16,458
I'll spit right in their eye!

635
00:30:16,625 --> 00:30:18,417
Good morning, Nurse Dawson. You're early.

636
00:30:18,583 --> 00:30:20,417
Yes, Sister. Morning, Sister.

637
00:30:52,583 --> 00:30:54,292
[buzzing]

638
00:30:55,625 --> 00:30:57,500
Is it a matter of life and death, Colonel?

639
00:30:57,667 --> 00:30:58,458
No, but...

640
00:30:58,625 --> 00:31:00,417
Well, then, please wait!

641
00:31:10,125 --> 00:31:11,875
- Morning, Matron.
- Morning, Doctor.

642
00:31:43,667 --> 00:31:44,583
Morning, Matron.

643
00:31:44,750 --> 00:31:45,750
Morning, Sister.

644
00:31:45,917 --> 00:31:47,417
Those screens are untidy, Sister.

645
00:31:47,583 --> 00:31:48,958
Oh, I'll see to them at once.

646
00:31:50,708 --> 00:31:51,208
Good morning, Mr. Reckitt.

647
00:31:51,375 --> 00:31:52,667
Good morning, Matron.

648
00:31:52,833 --> 00:31:55,458
Your temperature's behaving
very oddly, I see.

649
00:31:55,625 --> 00:31:57,333
Perhaps it'll settle down when I get up.

650
00:31:57,500 --> 00:31:59,375
Tomorrow, Mr. Stephens said.

651
00:31:59,542 --> 00:32:00,417
Good.

652
00:32:00,583 --> 00:32:02,042
Don't study too hard.

653
00:32:02,208 --> 00:32:04,917
I don't know any other way
to absorb knowledge, Matron.

654
00:32:09,125 --> 00:32:11,042
- Good morning, Mr. Bishop.
- Good morning, Matron.

655
00:32:11,208 --> 00:32:12,708
Mr. Bishop is a boxer, Matron.

656
00:32:12,875 --> 00:32:13,958
How interesting.

657
00:32:14,125 --> 00:32:16,208
And how did this
unfortunate accident occur?

658
00:32:16,375 --> 00:32:17,625
Oh, it was in a fight.

659
00:32:17,792 --> 00:32:19,667
We had a fourth round
of an eliminating contest.

660
00:32:19,833 --> 00:32:21,125
I'm a contender, you see.

661
00:32:21,292 --> 00:32:22,458
Well, the bell goes, ding-ding,

662
00:32:22,625 --> 00:32:23,875
so I comes out my corner
like the clappers.

663
00:32:24,167 --> 00:32:25,500
- I gave him a--
- The clappers?

664
00:32:25,667 --> 00:32:27,708
That is a boxing term, I believe, Matron.

665
00:32:27,875 --> 00:32:28,708
How very interesting.

666
00:32:29,250 --> 00:32:31,375
Yeah, well, I gave him
a couple of lefts...

667
00:32:31,542 --> 00:32:32,625
like that, you know, right in the gut.

668
00:32:32,750 --> 00:32:34,417
I could have shook hands
with his spine straight up.

669
00:32:34,583 --> 00:32:36,208
Well, his guard dropped,
so I clocked him one,

670
00:32:36,375 --> 00:32:37,542
dead on the button.

671
00:32:37,708 --> 00:32:39,958
That was the end of the bout. [chuckles]

672
00:32:40,125 --> 00:32:41,250
Broke me hand.

673
00:32:41,458 --> 00:32:44,750
Well, Mr. Bishop,
I hope you recover like...

674
00:32:44,917 --> 00:32:47,083
the clappers. [laughing]

675
00:32:47,250 --> 00:32:50,125
Well, thanks very much,
missus. Uh, Matron, uh...

676
00:32:50,292 --> 00:32:51,667
Very nice.

677
00:33:03,167 --> 00:33:04,583
Foch!

678
00:33:19,958 --> 00:33:21,500
Cor! What a stink!

679
00:33:21,667 --> 00:33:23,708
The cook appears to be improving.

680
00:33:23,958 --> 00:33:26,333
Sister, investigate that odor.

681
00:33:26,500 --> 00:33:27,958
Yes, certainly, Matron.

682
00:33:30,250 --> 00:33:32,167
Ow! Ooh! Ow!

683
00:33:37,667 --> 00:33:39,333
You idiot!

684
00:33:39,500 --> 00:33:41,667
Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry, Sister.

685
00:33:41,833 --> 00:33:43,708
You really are a complete fool,
aren't you?

686
00:33:43,875 --> 00:33:46,083
And during Matron's round, too.

687
00:33:46,250 --> 00:33:48,542
Go into my office and wait for me!

688
00:33:48,708 --> 00:33:50,042
Oh!

689
00:33:52,500 --> 00:33:54,375
Everything's quite all right now, Matron.

690
00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:06,333
Nurse Dawson, how dare
you burst in like that!

691
00:34:06,500 --> 00:34:07,917
Oh, just a minute!

692
00:34:09,792 --> 00:34:10,583
Ruddy thing!

693
00:34:10,833 --> 00:34:12,500
It's Matron's round!

694
00:34:12,667 --> 00:34:16,500
Well, mine's a pint! [laughs]

695
00:34:16,667 --> 00:34:17,667
Well, Nurse, what is it?

696
00:34:17,833 --> 00:34:19,042
I told you to wait in my office.

697
00:34:19,208 --> 00:34:20,708
Well, I did, Sister.
There was a phone call.

698
00:34:20,875 --> 00:34:21,792
Emergency admission.

699
00:34:21,958 --> 00:34:24,042
Very well. Carry on, Nurse.

700
00:34:26,042 --> 00:34:27,375
Oh. We shall just have room.

701
00:34:27,542 --> 00:34:28,958
Mr. Jackson's going home today.

702
00:34:29,125 --> 00:34:30,458
I-- I wonder whether perhaps--

703
00:34:30,625 --> 00:34:33,625
I'm quite capable of
continuing my round alone,

704
00:34:33,792 --> 00:34:34,750
Sister.

705
00:34:34,917 --> 00:34:36,250
Oh, thank you very much, Matron.

706
00:34:38,542 --> 00:34:39,958
[clattering]

707
00:34:44,167 --> 00:34:45,250
Nurse Dawson!

708
00:34:45,417 --> 00:34:48,667
Are you training
for nursing or demolition?

709
00:34:48,833 --> 00:34:50,208
[buzzing]

710
00:34:50,375 --> 00:34:52,250
I'm sorry, Sister.

711
00:34:52,417 --> 00:34:53,167
Yes, Colonel?

712
00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:55,500
I heard a crash. What's going on?

713
00:34:55,667 --> 00:34:56,417
Oh, nothing.

714
00:34:57,083 --> 00:35:00,083
Staff Nurse! Staff Nurse!

715
00:35:00,250 --> 00:35:02,042
Oh, I can never find you when I want you.

716
00:35:02,208 --> 00:35:03,083
What did you want me for, Sister?

717
00:35:03,250 --> 00:35:04,375
An emergency admission.

718
00:35:04,542 --> 00:35:05,833
Yes, Sister? What sort of case?

719
00:35:05,958 --> 00:35:06,917
What?

720
00:35:06,958 --> 00:35:08,333
Well, stupid Nurse Dawson

721
00:35:08,500 --> 00:35:09,833
didn't get the details on the telephone.

722
00:35:09,958 --> 00:35:11,500
Shall I telephone, Sister?

723
00:35:11,667 --> 00:35:13,500
I'm quite capable of making
a telephone call for myself,

724
00:35:13,667 --> 00:35:15,167
thank you very much, Staff Nurse.

725
00:35:15,333 --> 00:35:16,500
Would you please go and get

726
00:35:16,667 --> 00:35:17,750
Mr. Jackson's bed ready for the admission.

727
00:35:17,917 --> 00:35:19,167
Yes, Sister.

728
00:35:32,042 --> 00:35:34,083
Been starving yourself, Mr. Gray?

729
00:35:34,250 --> 00:35:35,292
Couldn't eat.

730
00:35:35,458 --> 00:35:36,958
Such pain... last night.

731
00:35:37,167 --> 00:35:38,292
Good.

732
00:35:38,458 --> 00:35:39,667
That means that we don't
have to starve you

733
00:35:39,833 --> 00:35:40,792
and I can operate that much sooner.

734
00:35:41,083 --> 00:35:42,042
Nurse.

735
00:35:43,958 --> 00:35:45,250
I'll operate tonight.

736
00:35:45,417 --> 00:35:46,917
Yes, Mr. Stephens.

737
00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:09,750
W-What's all this in aid of, Nurse?

738
00:36:09,917 --> 00:36:10,833
Massage.

739
00:36:10,958 --> 00:36:14,167
- To prevent bed sores.
- Oh, yeah?

740
00:36:14,333 --> 00:36:16,250
Getting to the bottom of the trouble, eh?

741
00:36:17,375 --> 00:36:18,750
That's right.

742
00:36:21,833 --> 00:36:23,042
Ooh!

743
00:36:28,208 --> 00:36:29,167
[giggles]

744
00:36:37,708 --> 00:36:39,292
Whoah oh oh ohh--

745
00:36:39,458 --> 00:36:40,625
Anything wrong?

746
00:36:40,792 --> 00:36:42,875
Oh, no, no. No. Very nice, thank you.

747
00:36:48,958 --> 00:36:50,292
Phew!

748
00:36:54,542 --> 00:36:56,125
[indistinct chatter]

749
00:37:00,292 --> 00:37:02,458
Eh, Janey...

750
00:37:02,625 --> 00:37:04,417
Supposing I couldn't ever fight again?

751
00:37:06,125 --> 00:37:09,125
Just suppose.

752
00:37:09,292 --> 00:37:13,708
Deep down, would you really be pleased?

753
00:37:13,875 --> 00:37:16,708
Well, I... I don't like you fighting.

754
00:37:16,875 --> 00:37:19,333
Sometimes I can hardly bear to look.

755
00:37:19,500 --> 00:37:20,917
But you're happy when you're pushing

756
00:37:21,083 --> 00:37:22,708
someone's face
into the middle of next week

757
00:37:22,875 --> 00:37:26,958
and...I like to see you happy.

758
00:37:27,125 --> 00:37:29,208
So you get that hand better
and come out fighting.

759
00:37:30,958 --> 00:37:32,958
I'm glad I married you, Jane.

760
00:37:35,417 --> 00:37:37,125
I've got a surprise for you.

761
00:37:37,292 --> 00:37:38,625
Pickled red cabbage?

762
00:37:38,792 --> 00:37:40,208
It's not red, it's Ginger.

763
00:37:40,375 --> 00:37:42,042
- Me manager!
- I'll send him along.

764
00:37:42,333 --> 00:37:45,375
What a pity I'm not allowed
to bring the children.

765
00:37:45,542 --> 00:37:47,292
Yes, it's allowed in the private wards.

766
00:37:47,458 --> 00:37:49,917
Oh, well, we couldn't afford that.

767
00:37:51,208 --> 00:37:52,208
Hush.

768
00:37:52,375 --> 00:37:53,375
What?

769
00:37:53,542 --> 00:37:54,792
Oh, nothing.

770
00:37:54,958 --> 00:37:58,583
Rhoda, clear, do try to say
"pardon," not "what."

771
00:37:58,750 --> 00:38:00,500
Sorry, Henry. Do you like this?

772
00:38:00,833 --> 00:38:01,875
What?

773
00:38:02,042 --> 00:38:03,292
I mean, pardon?

774
00:38:03,458 --> 00:38:05,792
Oh, yes. Oh, very nice. Yes.

775
00:38:05,958 --> 00:38:06,833
For when you come home.

776
00:38:07,208 --> 00:38:09,750
I bought it with our divvy from the Co-op.

777
00:38:09,917 --> 00:38:11,667
Rhoda, please!

778
00:38:11,833 --> 00:38:13,250
What's the matter, clear?

779
00:38:13,417 --> 00:38:14,750
Oh, never mind.

780
00:38:15,750 --> 00:38:16,750
Any other news?

781
00:38:16,917 --> 00:38:18,167
Oh!

782
00:38:18,333 --> 00:38:19,583
We've had a letter
from the building society.

783
00:38:19,875 --> 00:38:21,792
Rhoda!

784
00:38:24,875 --> 00:38:25,833
Ginge!

785
00:38:26,167 --> 00:38:27,500
Bernie!

786
00:38:27,667 --> 00:38:28,958
Norm as well!

787
00:38:30,292 --> 00:38:31,875
Come on in.

788
00:38:32,042 --> 00:38:34,583
Well, how are you, Bernie boy?

789
00:38:34,750 --> 00:38:38,750
You look great. Just great, son. Great.

790
00:38:38,917 --> 00:38:40,167
Well, give him the flowers, then.

791
00:38:40,333 --> 00:38:41,625
You'll choke them gripping them like that.

792
00:38:41,792 --> 00:38:42,708
Ta.

793
00:38:42,875 --> 00:38:44,292
Ta, Norm, me old sparring partner.

794
00:38:44,458 --> 00:38:45,583
How are you, mate?

795
00:38:45,750 --> 00:38:47,500
- Yeah, fine.
- Yeah, he's fine.

796
00:38:47,667 --> 00:38:49,917
No one will ever know how I suffered

797
00:38:50,083 --> 00:38:51,917
when you busted your hand
like that, Bernie boy.

798
00:38:52,167 --> 00:38:53,792
Hey, Ginger,

799
00:38:53,958 --> 00:38:57,125
why haven't you come in here
to see me before now?

800
00:38:57,292 --> 00:38:58,458
Well, uh, as it happens,

801
00:38:58,625 --> 00:38:59,958
I have got a reason for coming to see you.

802
00:39:00,125 --> 00:39:02,458
That is, a reason over
and above my natural,

803
00:39:02,625 --> 00:39:04,875
warm, and human concern

804
00:39:05,042 --> 00:39:07,042
as a manager for one of my boys.

805
00:39:08,917 --> 00:39:10,417
I am a showman.

806
00:39:10,583 --> 00:39:12,375
But I have an unpleasant duty to perform.

807
00:39:12,542 --> 00:39:15,500
I have come here to give you a thick ear.

808
00:39:15,667 --> 00:39:16,917
I won, didn't I?

809
00:39:17,083 --> 00:39:18,458
This was an accident,
you know, but I beat him.

810
00:39:18,625 --> 00:39:21,708
Too true, you won.
Too flipping fast, you won.

811
00:39:21,875 --> 00:39:23,292
But I had him beat.

812
00:39:23,458 --> 00:39:24,708
What do you expect me to do?

813
00:39:24,875 --> 00:39:26,375
Dance the cha-cha with him
for another five rounds?

814
00:39:26,542 --> 00:39:28,042
You're being flippant,
you're being flippant,

815
00:39:28,208 --> 00:39:30,167
but I'm glad to see
you've got the right idea.

816
00:39:31,625 --> 00:39:32,750
I don't understand.

817
00:39:32,917 --> 00:39:34,625
You don't understand.

818
00:39:34,792 --> 00:39:35,875
I'm a showman.

819
00:39:36,042 --> 00:39:37,125
Now, that's what you've got to be.

820
00:39:37,292 --> 00:39:38,500
You've reached the stage now

821
00:39:38,667 --> 00:39:39,667
where you're right in the public eye.

822
00:39:39,833 --> 00:39:41,917
What you need is a gimmick.

823
00:39:42,083 --> 00:39:43,333
- Gimmick?
- Gimmick.

824
00:39:43,583 --> 00:39:44,917
Belt up! Yeah, a gimmick.

825
00:39:45,083 --> 00:39:47,333
Something that the public
associates with you alone.

826
00:39:47,500 --> 00:39:49,083
You remember Frisco Freddie.

827
00:39:49,375 --> 00:39:50,458
You remember Frisco.

828
00:39:50,625 --> 00:39:51,958
- Frisco, yeah.
- Yeah, that's right.

829
00:39:52,167 --> 00:39:53,542
He was a boxer who used to ride punches

830
00:39:53,708 --> 00:39:54,667
all the time, didn't he?

831
00:39:54,833 --> 00:39:56,500
Exactly. He used to ride them.

832
00:39:56,667 --> 00:39:58,042
Ride them. The crowd loved it.

833
00:39:58,208 --> 00:40:00,500
Yeah, well, look, I could do that.

834
00:40:00,792 --> 00:40:02,083
Here, Norm.

835
00:40:02,250 --> 00:40:03,833
You used to train with Frisco, didn't you?

836
00:40:03,958 --> 00:40:06,083
You used to train with Frisco, didn't you?

837
00:40:06,250 --> 00:40:07,625
- Yeah, aye.
- Well, come on, then!

838
00:40:07,792 --> 00:40:10,333
Let's show Bern how you
used to spar with Frisco.

839
00:40:10,500 --> 00:40:11,583
Here.

840
00:40:11,750 --> 00:40:12,958
I tell you, it was marv...

841
00:40:13,125 --> 00:40:14,917
He was just like a ballet dancer.

842
00:40:15,083 --> 00:40:16,625
And he used to punch...

843
00:40:16,792 --> 00:40:17,875
Hold that.

844
00:40:18,042 --> 00:40:19,125
Right, easy now.

845
00:40:19,292 --> 00:40:21,875
Punch, ride. Punch, ride. Punch, ride.

846
00:40:22,042 --> 00:40:23,167
Pretty fast. Punch. Ride.

847
00:40:23,583 --> 00:40:24,375
He used to ride the lot, he did.

848
00:40:24,542 --> 00:40:26,042
Until he was ready, and then...

849
00:40:26,208 --> 00:40:28,750
bosh! Knocked them cold, it did!

850
00:40:31,542 --> 00:40:32,542
Nurse!

851
00:40:32,708 --> 00:40:34,083
Nurse.

852
00:40:42,083 --> 00:40:43,875
Uh, just a minute, Mr. York.

853
00:40:44,042 --> 00:40:45,167
Hello. What's that?

854
00:40:45,333 --> 00:40:47,500
Uh, for your bowels. Sit down, please.

855
00:40:47,667 --> 00:40:48,792
Have you, um...

856
00:40:48,958 --> 00:40:49,958
given one of these before?

857
00:40:50,167 --> 00:40:51,792
Oh, good gracious! Hundreds.

858
00:40:52,042 --> 00:40:53,458
Get it down, now.

859
00:40:53,625 --> 00:40:54,792
Other end, Nurse.

860
00:40:57,500 --> 00:40:58,708
Never mind.

861
00:40:58,875 --> 00:40:59,958
With a face like mine,

862
00:41:00,125 --> 00:41:01,667
it's a mistake anyone might make.

863
00:41:03,208 --> 00:41:04,250
Persecution!

864
00:41:04,417 --> 00:41:06,042
That's what it is, persecution!

865
00:41:06,208 --> 00:41:07,708
I shall write to the Minister for Health.

866
00:41:07,875 --> 00:41:09,250
Never mind, you'll live through it.

867
00:41:09,417 --> 00:41:12,042
It's a miracle you do! [scoffs]

868
00:41:12,208 --> 00:41:13,750
You all ought to strike!

869
00:41:13,917 --> 00:41:14,958
One clay, that's all it would take.

870
00:41:15,167 --> 00:41:16,375
One clay, and the nursing profession

871
00:41:16,542 --> 00:41:18,542
would advance a hundred years.

872
00:41:18,708 --> 00:41:21,583
Why don't you organize
a march to Downing Street?

873
00:41:21,750 --> 00:41:23,875
And Sister Anna will carry the banner.

874
00:41:24,208 --> 00:41:25,292
Oh!

875
00:41:25,458 --> 00:41:27,542
The whole fat-headed farce makes me puke!

876
00:41:27,708 --> 00:41:28,583
There.

877
00:41:28,750 --> 00:41:29,667
That's you settled.

878
00:41:29,833 --> 00:41:30,958
Settled? Huh!

879
00:41:31,167 --> 00:41:33,958
I feel about as settled
as an active volcano.

880
00:41:35,833 --> 00:41:38,708
[classical music playing]

881
00:41:47,833 --> 00:41:48,958
[inaudible]

882
00:42:06,375 --> 00:42:07,375
[clings]

883
00:42:25,292 --> 00:42:27,083
[whispering] Don't lie
on top of the bed clothes.

884
00:42:27,250 --> 00:42:28,750
- Matron's rule.
- Oh, sorry.

885
00:42:28,917 --> 00:42:30,458
In bed or out, but never on. Oh,

886
00:42:30,625 --> 00:42:32,292
- do please try and remember.
- Okay, okay.

887
00:42:35,583 --> 00:42:36,708
Everything all right, Mr. Bishop?

888
00:42:36,875 --> 00:42:37,875
Yes, fine, thanks, Matron.

889
00:42:38,208 --> 00:42:40,125
I can feel me hand getting better.
You know, sort of knitting.

890
00:42:40,542 --> 00:42:42,417
Excellent. Keep up the good work.

891
00:42:46,250 --> 00:42:47,667
Everything all right, Mr. Reckitt?

892
00:42:48,833 --> 00:42:51,250
Medically, yes, Matron. Otherwise, no.

893
00:42:51,417 --> 00:42:53,667
This is my first clay out of bed.

894
00:42:53,833 --> 00:42:57,042
I have to move about, I am told,
yet rest when tired.

895
00:42:57,208 --> 00:42:58,833
As I have stitches in my stomach,

896
00:42:58,958 --> 00:43:00,167
all movement is painful.

897
00:43:00,333 --> 00:43:01,625
Oh, I'm afraid there's nothing

898
00:43:01,792 --> 00:43:03,667
I can do about that, Mr. Reckitt.

899
00:43:03,833 --> 00:43:04,958
I realize that, Matron.

900
00:43:05,167 --> 00:43:06,500
I wonder, though, if you could

901
00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:08,833
satisfy my curiosity on one point.

902
00:43:09,125 --> 00:43:10,125
I will try.

903
00:43:10,292 --> 00:43:11,792
What is the point, Mr. Reckitt?

904
00:43:11,958 --> 00:43:14,750
Why must I endure the extra
pain of getting into

905
00:43:14,917 --> 00:43:17,958
and out of bed when I can rest
just as effectively

906
00:43:18,125 --> 00:43:19,958
lying on top of the bedclothes?

907
00:43:20,167 --> 00:43:22,500
I don't like to see men lying about.

908
00:43:22,667 --> 00:43:24,167
It makes the ward look untidy.

909
00:43:24,333 --> 00:43:26,625
I see. It isn't a medical rule.

910
00:43:26,792 --> 00:43:28,625
I don't see what that has to do with it.

911
00:43:28,875 --> 00:43:31,542
I'll explain, Matron.

912
00:43:31,708 --> 00:43:35,583
If a doctor asks me to hang
by one arm from the ceiling,

913
00:43:35,750 --> 00:43:37,333
wearing an aqualung,

914
00:43:37,500 --> 00:43:40,250
with my birthday tattooed
on my left buttock

915
00:43:40,417 --> 00:43:43,042
in shorthand, I'll do it.

916
00:43:43,208 --> 00:43:44,750
He aimed to cure me.

917
00:43:44,917 --> 00:43:46,958
Your rule has nothing to do with my cure.

918
00:43:47,125 --> 00:43:49,500
Therefore, it has no meaning in here.

919
00:43:49,667 --> 00:43:50,750
Mr. Reckitt--

920
00:43:50,958 --> 00:43:53,042
Excuse me.

921
00:43:55,292 --> 00:43:56,792
I wish to rest.

922
00:44:01,542 --> 00:44:02,500
Sorry, Matron.

923
00:44:02,958 --> 00:44:04,417
I thought your round was over.

924
00:44:09,875 --> 00:44:11,125
I'm so sorry--

925
00:44:11,292 --> 00:44:13,958
Sister, this ward is the
slackest in the hospital.

926
00:44:14,125 --> 00:44:15,458
And the untidiest.

927
00:44:15,625 --> 00:44:16,792
Oh, but matron--

928
00:44:16,958 --> 00:44:19,583
See that all the beds are remade at once.

929
00:44:19,750 --> 00:44:21,708
All the beds?

930
00:44:21,875 --> 00:44:24,333
I think you heard what I said, Sister.

931
00:44:24,500 --> 00:44:25,667
Good morning.

932
00:44:28,750 --> 00:44:30,500
Staff Nurse, this ward's a disgrace!

933
00:44:30,667 --> 00:44:31,958
You have no control over the nurses.

934
00:44:32,167 --> 00:44:33,250
But, Sister--

935
00:44:33,417 --> 00:44:34,458
It's time we had a little discipline!

936
00:44:34,625 --> 00:44:35,875
Remake all the beds.

937
00:44:36,042 --> 00:44:38,167
- The beds?
- Beds, beds, beds!

938
00:44:38,333 --> 00:44:40,167
Are you deaf? B-E-D-S!

939
00:44:40,333 --> 00:44:41,292
Go and do it at once!

940
00:44:41,458 --> 00:44:42,625
NOW!

941
00:44:42,792 --> 00:44:43,958
Yes, Sister.

942
00:44:44,167 --> 00:44:45,083
[door slams]

943
00:44:45,250 --> 00:44:47,125
Nurse Axwell. Nurse Axwell.

944
00:44:47,292 --> 00:44:48,250
Yes, Staff?

945
00:44:48,417 --> 00:44:49,458
Come here.

946
00:44:49,625 --> 00:44:51,375
Get new bedclothes for the whole ward.

947
00:44:51,542 --> 00:44:52,583
Today?

948
00:44:52,750 --> 00:44:54,708
Not tomorrow, not Christmas, but today.

949
00:44:54,875 --> 00:44:57,792
T-O-D-A-Y, today!

950
00:44:57,958 --> 00:45:00,917
Nurse Dawson. Nurse Dawson!

951
00:45:01,083 --> 00:45:01,917
Yes?

952
00:45:02,542 --> 00:45:04,208
Yes, what?

953
00:45:04,375 --> 00:45:06,625
Yes, Nurse. Get you!

954
00:45:06,792 --> 00:45:08,917
Oh, you're so rude, you student nurses.

955
00:45:09,083 --> 00:45:10,250
Come and help me get fresh linen.

956
00:45:10,417 --> 00:45:11,708
Hmm? But this isn't the clay for--

957
00:45:11,875 --> 00:45:14,125
One more word out of you
and I'll report you.

958
00:45:14,292 --> 00:45:15,958
Now come along.

959
00:45:16,167 --> 00:45:18,167
Yes, Nurse.

960
00:45:18,333 --> 00:45:19,167
Ooh!

961
00:45:19,333 --> 00:45:21,250
Oh, you clumsy great oaf!

962
00:45:21,417 --> 00:45:22,625
Well, look who's talking! Ha--

963
00:45:22,792 --> 00:45:23,792
Oh.

964
00:45:28,292 --> 00:45:29,375
Ah, good morning.

965
00:45:29,542 --> 00:45:30,333
Good morning.

966
00:45:30,500 --> 00:45:31,458
Got any fruit bars?

967
00:45:31,625 --> 00:45:33,250
No. I've got a sliced nut.

968
00:45:33,417 --> 00:45:35,542
Come to the right place
to have it mended, haven't you?

969
00:45:35,708 --> 00:45:36,875
[laughing]

970
00:45:40,542 --> 00:45:42,167
Oh, clear.

971
00:45:44,792 --> 00:45:45,958
Sit down, Mr. York.

972
00:45:46,167 --> 00:45:47,750
Oh, Hello.

973
00:45:50,250 --> 00:45:51,542
I wanted to ask you--

974
00:46:06,792 --> 00:46:07,958
How am I doing?

975
00:46:08,167 --> 00:46:09,583
Both up slightly.

976
00:46:09,750 --> 00:46:11,042
Any idea why?

977
00:46:12,458 --> 00:46:15,208
You know, nursing training
is right out of date.

978
00:46:15,375 --> 00:46:16,750
What do you mean?

979
00:46:16,917 --> 00:46:18,542
Well, they should have
taught you there isn't always

980
00:46:18,708 --> 00:46:20,583
a medical reason for a fast pulse.

981
00:46:24,625 --> 00:46:25,833
Hello, chaps.

982
00:46:25,958 --> 00:46:27,125
Mr. Bell?

983
00:46:27,292 --> 00:46:28,958
Ding-dong, you're not wrong.

984
00:46:29,167 --> 00:46:31,125
This way, please.

985
00:46:31,292 --> 00:46:33,667
Hello. Hello.

986
00:46:33,833 --> 00:46:35,167
Get into bed, Mr. Bell.

987
00:46:35,333 --> 00:46:36,792
I say, look here, Nurse, see,

988
00:46:36,958 --> 00:46:38,292
I'm going to be in and out
of here inside a few days.

989
00:46:38,458 --> 00:46:40,417
Surely I don't have to go to bye-byes.

990
00:46:40,583 --> 00:46:41,625
In.

991
00:46:41,792 --> 00:46:43,625
Oh, what a bore.

992
00:46:43,792 --> 00:46:46,875
Oh, well, you're the governor.

993
00:46:47,042 --> 00:46:48,583
What's the matter with him?

994
00:46:48,750 --> 00:46:50,500
[Staff] Mrs. Dale's Diary.

995
00:46:50,792 --> 00:46:51,792
[buzzing]

996
00:46:51,958 --> 00:46:53,458
Tails.

997
00:46:53,625 --> 00:46:54,917
You lose.

998
00:46:55,083 --> 00:46:57,042
Every five minutes.
He's becoming impossible.

999
00:46:57,958 --> 00:46:59,208
Well?

1000
00:46:59,375 --> 00:47:01,958
There's a big, annoying lump in my bed.

1001
00:47:02,167 --> 00:47:04,792
There is. I mean, there is?

1002
00:47:04,958 --> 00:47:06,458
Where's that fellow Mick?

1003
00:47:06,625 --> 00:47:08,708
He's not allowed in here, and you know it.

1004
00:47:08,875 --> 00:47:10,458
If Sister catches him
putting on bets for you,

1005
00:47:10,625 --> 00:47:11,958
we'll all be sacked.

1006
00:47:12,167 --> 00:47:14,083
Get a telephone installed
in here and I can do it myself.

1007
00:47:14,250 --> 00:47:16,083
What do you think this is, an hotel?

1008
00:47:18,042 --> 00:47:20,167
HEY, Um, Oliver?

1009
00:47:20,333 --> 00:47:21,542
Hmm?

1010
00:47:23,167 --> 00:47:25,167
I've been meaning to ask you.

1011
00:47:25,333 --> 00:47:26,875
Was it the anesthetic

1012
00:47:27,042 --> 00:47:28,667
or did I really see a real nice girl

1013
00:47:28,833 --> 00:47:30,375
come to visit you the other night?

1014
00:47:30,542 --> 00:47:31,667
Mm?

1015
00:47:31,833 --> 00:47:33,792
A girl.

1016
00:47:33,958 --> 00:47:36,125
Did I see a girl come to see you?

1017
00:47:36,292 --> 00:47:37,583
YES.

1018
00:47:37,750 --> 00:47:39,958
Very nice too, eh?

1019
00:47:40,167 --> 00:47:41,667
Heh heh. You're a lucky fella.

1020
00:47:41,833 --> 00:47:42,792
What?

1021
00:47:42,958 --> 00:47:45,708
I said, "You're a lucky bloke."

1022
00:47:45,875 --> 00:47:48,083
What on earth are you talking about?

1023
00:47:48,250 --> 00:47:49,500
[laughs]

1024
00:47:49,667 --> 00:47:52,292
Oh, never mind.

1025
00:47:52,458 --> 00:47:54,292
Ugh!

1026
00:47:57,708 --> 00:48:00,083
It's very kind of you to show me the way,
Mr. Stephens.

1027
00:48:00,250 --> 00:48:03,208
Oh, I like to make newcomers
feel thoroughly at home.

1028
00:48:03,375 --> 00:48:05,167
Thank you, again.

1029
00:48:05,333 --> 00:48:07,375
We must have a drink together tonight.

1030
00:48:07,542 --> 00:48:09,167
To celebrate your first case.

1031
00:48:09,333 --> 00:48:10,500
Must we?

1032
00:48:10,667 --> 00:48:13,417
But of course. We've a lot to talk about.

1033
00:48:13,583 --> 00:48:15,083
Such as?

1034
00:48:15,250 --> 00:48:17,375
Why, surgery, of course.

1035
00:48:17,542 --> 00:48:19,708
You're too kind. And optimistic.

1036
00:48:19,875 --> 00:48:21,250
I might botch the case.

1037
00:48:21,417 --> 00:48:24,292
No, you won't. Good luck.

1038
00:48:36,542 --> 00:48:37,458
[whistles]

1039
00:48:37,625 --> 00:48:39,042
Good afternoon, Dr. Winn.

1040
00:48:39,208 --> 00:48:42,333
Good afternoon, Staff Nurse.
Mr. Bell has arrived, I believe?

1041
00:48:42,500 --> 00:48:44,208
This way, Doctor.

1042
00:48:44,375 --> 00:48:45,750
Good afternoon, Mr. Bell.

1043
00:48:45,917 --> 00:48:47,167
Good afternoon.

1044
00:48:48,667 --> 00:48:50,958
Hallux valgus.
Straight out of the book, Nurse.

1045
00:48:51,167 --> 00:48:52,167
Yes, Doctor.

1046
00:48:52,333 --> 00:48:53,542
I'll operate tomorrow morning.

1047
00:48:53,708 --> 00:48:54,958
Nothing to eat for you today, Mr. Bell.

1048
00:48:55,167 --> 00:48:58,208
Of course not, darling-- uh, Doctor.

1049
00:48:58,375 --> 00:49:00,042
Thank you, Nurse.

1050
00:49:05,167 --> 00:49:05,917
Wow!

1051
00:49:06,167 --> 00:49:07,500
Ravishing.

1052
00:49:07,667 --> 00:49:09,542
She can take out my drain anytime.

1053
00:49:09,708 --> 00:49:11,292
[inhales sharply] Ohh.

1054
00:49:11,458 --> 00:49:13,292
She's all the compensation I'd want.

1055
00:49:13,583 --> 00:49:14,667
[laughs]

1056
00:49:14,833 --> 00:49:17,083
Cor! How about a couple
of rounds with her, eh?

1057
00:49:17,250 --> 00:49:18,500
Winner take all.

1058
00:49:19,292 --> 00:49:21,833
The sex-mad fools.

1059
00:49:22,375 --> 00:49:24,083
Anyone for water?

1060
00:49:24,250 --> 00:49:25,208
Hey, Mick.

1061
00:49:25,375 --> 00:49:26,375
Where have you been hiding Dr. Winn?

1062
00:49:26,750 --> 00:49:28,875
Yeah, why wasn't we clone by her, then?

1063
00:49:29,125 --> 00:49:30,875
Oh, she's new and junior.

1064
00:49:31,042 --> 00:49:34,250
Only handling simple cases for a while.

1065
00:49:34,417 --> 00:49:35,833
What have you got, Mr. Bell?

1066
00:49:35,958 --> 00:49:37,500
A hallux valgus.

1067
00:49:37,667 --> 00:49:38,750
Oh, a bunion.

1068
00:49:38,917 --> 00:49:40,750
Cor blimey!

1069
00:49:41,167 --> 00:49:43,750
Do you mean he gets her for a bunion?

1070
00:49:43,958 --> 00:49:44,875
[knock on door]

1071
00:49:45,042 --> 00:49:46,042
Yes, Colonel?

1072
00:49:46,208 --> 00:49:49,625
Oh, sorry to be a nuisance, my clear,
but my bandage has slipped.

1073
00:49:51,958 --> 00:49:52,958
That's all right.

1074
00:49:53,167 --> 00:49:54,375
Well, I ought to know.

1075
00:49:54,542 --> 00:49:56,417
It's flapping about like a flag
at half-mast.

1076
00:49:58,500 --> 00:50:00,583
Any idea what won the 2:30?

1077
00:50:00,750 --> 00:50:01,958
None at all.

1078
00:50:02,167 --> 00:50:04,083
What? I thought you were
interested in racing.

1079
00:50:04,250 --> 00:50:05,958
At the moment the only thing
I'm interested in

1080
00:50:06,125 --> 00:50:07,417
is getting you settled,

1081
00:50:07,583 --> 00:50:08,958
so that I can get on
with something more important.

1082
00:50:09,125 --> 00:50:10,542
Oh, clear. Aren't I important?

1083
00:50:10,708 --> 00:50:13,708
As a patient, yes.
As a congenital gambler, no.

1084
00:50:13,875 --> 00:50:15,708
My clear girl, your values are all wrong.

1085
00:50:15,875 --> 00:50:17,500
It ought to be the other way around.

1086
00:50:17,667 --> 00:50:18,667
What, the bandage?

1087
00:50:18,833 --> 00:50:19,958
No, no, no. You know what I mean.

1088
00:50:20,167 --> 00:50:22,042
- Where's Mick?
- He's busy.

1089
00:50:22,208 --> 00:50:23,625
He won't be too busy to come and see me.

1090
00:50:23,792 --> 00:50:25,792
- If he's any sense, he will.
- [chuckles]

1091
00:50:25,958 --> 00:50:27,250
There. Is that better?

1092
00:50:27,417 --> 00:50:28,958
Yes. Thank you very much indeed.

1093
00:50:29,125 --> 00:50:30,958
Oh, Nurse, don't forget
about Mick, will you?

1094
00:50:32,583 --> 00:50:35,375
[chuckles] I love 'em.

1095
00:50:42,500 --> 00:50:45,208
[footsteps]

1096
00:50:49,125 --> 00:50:50,417
There you are, poppet.

1097
00:50:50,583 --> 00:50:52,167
To celebrate, tomorrow,
when it's all over.

1098
00:50:52,333 --> 00:50:53,875
Oh, Megsy, you're a darling.

1099
00:50:54,042 --> 00:50:55,292
Anything else I can bring you?

1100
00:50:55,458 --> 00:50:56,958
Only yourself, sweetie.

1101
00:50:57,125 --> 00:50:59,042
Every single clay.

1102
00:50:59,208 --> 00:51:00,042
How's my car?

1103
00:51:00,208 --> 00:51:01,083
Oh, not to worry, darling.

1104
00:51:01,250 --> 00:51:02,667
I took it in for servicing

1105
00:51:02,833 --> 00:51:05,042
and it'll be all ready in time
for our little trip.

1106
00:51:05,208 --> 00:51:08,333
I booked secluded little hotels
all along our route.

1107
00:51:08,500 --> 00:51:09,708
Separate rooms, of course.

1108
00:51:09,875 --> 00:51:10,958
Oh, just think of it.

1109
00:51:11,167 --> 00:51:14,625
A whole week together in separate rooms.

1110
00:51:16,083 --> 00:51:17,083
Oh, wacko.

1111
00:51:17,250 --> 00:51:19,250
Starting one week from now.

1112
00:51:19,417 --> 00:51:20,708
You're sure your silly old bunion

1113
00:51:20,875 --> 00:51:22,125
will be settled by then?

1114
00:51:22,292 --> 00:51:26,458
Megsy, darling, everything
will be settled by then.

1115
00:51:26,625 --> 00:51:27,875
Oh, Jack.

1116
00:51:29,250 --> 00:51:31,500
Hey, Janey, I wonder if he'll forget me.

1117
00:51:31,667 --> 00:51:32,792
Of course not.

1118
00:51:32,958 --> 00:51:34,708
Oh, I don't know. Kids do, you know.

1119
00:51:34,875 --> 00:51:35,833
I heard of a case once.

1120
00:51:35,958 --> 00:51:38,125
Not in these few days, silly.

1121
00:51:38,292 --> 00:51:39,250
Is there anything you want?

1122
00:51:39,417 --> 00:51:40,958
Yeah. Pickled red cabbage.

1123
00:51:41,125 --> 00:51:42,583
I don't know if you'd be allowed.

1124
00:51:42,750 --> 00:51:44,125
Well, of course I would.

1125
00:51:44,292 --> 00:51:45,875
Me hand's got nothing to do
with me belly, has it?

1126
00:51:46,042 --> 00:51:47,708
Well, I'll ask the Sister anyway.

1127
00:51:47,875 --> 00:51:48,958
Oh, don't go now.

1128
00:51:49,125 --> 00:51:50,333
Well, I have to, darling.

1129
00:51:50,500 --> 00:51:51,667
I've left the baby with Mrs. Williams.

1130
00:51:51,833 --> 00:51:54,167
Oh, yeah. Oh, well.

1131
00:51:54,333 --> 00:51:56,125
Give him a kiss from me, will you?

1132
00:51:56,292 --> 00:51:57,292
See you tomorrow.

1133
00:51:57,458 --> 00:51:58,292
Bye-bye.

1134
00:51:58,458 --> 00:51:59,917
Bye.

1135
00:52:07,375 --> 00:52:08,958
Expecting her, Oliver?

1136
00:52:09,167 --> 00:52:10,875
Of course not. Ha!

1137
00:52:11,042 --> 00:52:12,167
I've got far more important things

1138
00:52:12,333 --> 00:52:14,042
to worry about than entanglements.

1139
00:52:16,500 --> 00:52:19,458
It's so sensible having afternoon visiting

1140
00:52:19,625 --> 00:52:21,542
on half-day closing.

1141
00:52:21,708 --> 00:52:24,958
Mind you, I expect I could
get away from work anyway.

1142
00:52:25,125 --> 00:52:27,583
Rhoda, my clear,
keep your voice down, clear.

1143
00:52:27,750 --> 00:52:30,250
No need to let everyone know
you go to work.

1144
00:52:30,417 --> 00:52:31,917
Oh, really, Henry?

1145
00:52:32,083 --> 00:52:33,375
If I didn't know you better,

1146
00:52:33,542 --> 00:52:35,292
sometimes I'd think you were a snob.

1147
00:52:35,458 --> 00:52:37,208
[laughing] I really would.

1148
00:52:37,375 --> 00:52:39,042
[chuckles]

1149
00:52:39,208 --> 00:52:42,125
You're sure you asked for
something to make you sleep?

1150
00:52:42,292 --> 00:52:43,625
Yes, love. Gonna have it tonight.

1151
00:52:43,792 --> 00:52:45,667
"Senacol" or "Sinacol" or something.

1152
00:52:45,833 --> 00:52:47,125
Oh, that's a relief.

1153
00:52:47,292 --> 00:52:48,833
I'd rather have a pint of old and mild.

1154
00:52:48,958 --> 00:52:50,750
I told 'em, too,
but they don't know anything.

1155
00:52:50,917 --> 00:52:53,042
- Oh, Bert.
- Well, they don't.

1156
00:53:00,958 --> 00:53:03,583
Miss Thompson.
I was just thinking about you.

1157
00:53:03,750 --> 00:53:04,958
Oh, were you?

1158
00:53:05,125 --> 00:53:06,500
I've been thinking about you constantly.

1159
00:53:06,667 --> 00:53:09,958
Miss Thom-- Jill, tell me something--

1160
00:53:10,125 --> 00:53:11,583
I-- I've been thinking of you, too.

1161
00:53:11,750 --> 00:53:13,208
Ever since you came to our house.

1162
00:53:13,375 --> 00:53:15,083
But Harry said you'd no time for girls.

1163
00:53:15,250 --> 00:53:17,583
Your brother will be
a marvelous doctor someday,

1164
00:53:17,750 --> 00:53:20,542
but so far he knows very little
about the human heart.

1165
00:53:20,708 --> 00:53:21,667
Oh, Oliver.

1166
00:53:21,833 --> 00:53:23,708
Jill.

1167
00:53:23,875 --> 00:53:25,917
I brought you some nougat.

1168
00:53:26,083 --> 00:53:26,958
Nougat?

1169
00:53:27,125 --> 00:53:28,500
Don't you like it?

1170
00:53:28,667 --> 00:53:29,792
I love it.

1171
00:53:29,958 --> 00:53:31,583
Oh, isn't that wonderful?

1172
00:53:31,750 --> 00:53:33,083
We like the same things.

1173
00:53:33,250 --> 00:53:34,958
[bell rings]

1174
00:53:35,167 --> 00:53:37,667
Oh, I hate to go.
There's so much I want to say.

1175
00:53:37,833 --> 00:53:40,042
Visit me again, every clay. Promise?

1176
00:53:40,208 --> 00:53:41,250
Promise.

1177
00:53:41,417 --> 00:53:42,292
Jill.

1178
00:53:42,458 --> 00:53:44,292
Oliver.

1179
00:53:56,500 --> 00:53:59,083
I told ya. She's stuck on ya.

1180
00:54:12,833 --> 00:54:14,125
Come in.

1181
00:54:15,500 --> 00:54:18,042
Nurse Nightingale reporting, Staff.

1182
00:54:20,625 --> 00:54:22,667
I've been sent here by Night Sister.

1183
00:54:22,833 --> 00:54:23,917
Oh,
yes.

1184
00:54:24,083 --> 00:54:25,875
We have to special a patient. Mr. Mayhew.

1185
00:54:26,042 --> 00:54:27,708
Have you worked on a surgical ward before?

1186
00:54:27,875 --> 00:54:29,917
No, Staff. I'm on first-year nights.

1187
00:54:30,083 --> 00:54:32,583
I've only been on women's medical so far.

1188
00:54:32,750 --> 00:54:34,917
Come with me.

1189
00:54:47,875 --> 00:54:49,042
Now, listen.

1190
00:54:49,208 --> 00:54:50,833
This is a gastrectomy patient.

1191
00:54:50,958 --> 00:54:52,083
He's lost a lot of blood,

1192
00:54:52,250 --> 00:54:53,917
and he's having a blood transfusion.

1193
00:54:54,083 --> 00:54:55,958
While he's unconscious, all you have to do

1194
00:54:56,125 --> 00:54:57,875
is to see that the needle
doesn't come out.

1195
00:54:58,042 --> 00:54:59,292
Yes, Staff.

1196
00:54:59,458 --> 00:55:00,750
And don't leave him.

1197
00:55:00,917 --> 00:55:02,417
If there's anything you want to know,

1198
00:55:02,583 --> 00:55:04,500
if you're in any sort of doubt,
just press that button

1199
00:55:04,667 --> 00:55:06,458
and Nurse James or I'll be along.

1200
00:55:06,625 --> 00:55:09,958
I understand. Leave it to me, Staff.

1201
00:55:21,292 --> 00:55:24,792
I thought you'd like some tea.
This is a very boring job.

1202
00:55:27,750 --> 00:55:29,625
Thanks, Nurse.

1203
00:55:49,042 --> 00:55:51,458
[bell rings]

1204
00:55:55,167 --> 00:55:57,250
Staff...

1205
00:55:58,375 --> 00:55:59,917
he's dead.

1206
00:56:28,625 --> 00:56:30,042
[snores]

1207
00:56:46,083 --> 00:56:47,167
Stand by.

1208
00:56:47,333 --> 00:56:48,667
It's going to be that sort of a night.

1209
00:56:48,833 --> 00:56:50,792
Nurse!

1210
00:56:53,792 --> 00:56:56,292
I think I feel sick.

1211
00:56:56,458 --> 00:56:57,667
Hold it.

1212
00:56:59,542 --> 00:57:02,375
[bell rings]

1213
00:57:06,958 --> 00:57:08,542
Now sit up.

1214
00:57:10,125 --> 00:57:12,667
Staff, he opened his eyes.

1215
00:57:12,833 --> 00:57:13,917
Really?

1216
00:57:14,083 --> 00:57:17,292
Yes, opened and closed them.
Just like this.

1217
00:57:19,250 --> 00:57:20,750
Very interesting.

1218
00:57:20,917 --> 00:57:22,542
If it happens again, just call me.

1219
00:57:22,708 --> 00:57:24,125
I'd like to see that.

1220
00:57:24,292 --> 00:57:25,375
You would?

1221
00:57:47,583 --> 00:57:49,083
Oh, really!

1222
00:57:49,250 --> 00:57:51,625
What can you expect,
eating filthy stuff like this?

1223
00:57:51,792 --> 00:57:52,875
It wasn't that.

1224
00:57:53,042 --> 00:57:54,875
It was that compost heap
we had for supper.

1225
00:57:55,042 --> 00:57:56,250
I shall write to my MP.

1226
00:57:56,417 --> 00:57:58,542
You do that. Do you feel better now?

1227
00:58:01,958 --> 00:58:04,375
[hiccups]

1228
00:58:16,167 --> 00:58:18,042
When are we going to get
a new sluice, Staff?

1229
00:58:18,208 --> 00:58:19,125
That old thing--

1230
00:58:19,292 --> 00:58:20,333
Never mind about the sluice.

1231
00:58:20,500 --> 00:58:21,750
Go and have a look at Mr. Able.

1232
00:58:21,917 --> 00:58:23,292
He's on Sinacol.

1233
00:58:23,458 --> 00:58:24,875
One never knows how it's going
to take some people.

1234
00:58:25,042 --> 00:58:27,167
I thought it only affected
old men peculiarly.

1235
00:58:27,333 --> 00:58:29,958
Well, in here, they age fast.

1236
00:58:43,625 --> 00:58:45,125
Mr. Able!

1237
00:58:45,500 --> 00:58:48,125
[giggling]

1238
00:58:48,292 --> 00:58:49,833
Are you feeling all right, Mr. Able?

1239
00:58:49,958 --> 00:58:53,083
Oh, yes, yes, yes. I'm going for a swim.

1240
00:58:53,250 --> 00:58:55,125
Oh, no, you settle down.
Get back into bed.

1241
00:58:55,292 --> 00:58:56,292
No, no, no, no, you settle down.
You settle down.

1242
00:58:56,458 --> 00:58:57,958
Now, where's the sea?

1243
00:58:58,250 --> 00:58:59,833
[screams]

1244
00:58:59,958 --> 00:59:01,625
[giggles]

1245
00:59:01,792 --> 00:59:04,292
Take that. That's a good girl.
That's right.

1246
00:59:06,792 --> 00:59:09,625
[hiccups]

1247
00:59:09,875 --> 00:59:10,875
Impertinence!

1248
00:59:13,542 --> 00:59:15,125
[buzzing]

1249
00:59:18,458 --> 00:59:20,250
What the devil's going on?

1250
00:59:20,458 --> 00:59:22,167
- Nothing.
- Mr. Able!

1251
00:59:22,333 --> 00:59:23,542
Now, now, get your clothes off, girl.

1252
00:59:23,708 --> 00:59:25,042
You can't swim with your clothes on.

1253
00:59:25,208 --> 00:59:27,083
Come along now.
Come along. That's a good girl.

1254
00:59:27,250 --> 00:59:29,792
Look! Look! Look! Look there! A mermaid!

1255
00:59:31,208 --> 00:59:32,833
[giggling hysterically]

1256
00:59:48,250 --> 00:59:51,292
[laughing]

1257
00:59:51,458 --> 00:59:52,792
Look out, he's coming back.

1258
00:59:53,333 --> 00:59:55,167
Streamers!

1259
00:59:57,083 --> 00:59:58,875
Streamers! [laughs]

1260
00:59:59,042 --> 01:00:00,042
[hiccups]

1261
01:00:00,292 --> 01:00:02,458
Streamers!

1262
01:00:02,625 --> 01:00:05,250
Streamers! Streamers!

1263
01:00:07,042 --> 01:00:08,208
[buzzing]

1264
01:00:08,458 --> 01:00:10,833
What the blue blazes is going on?

1265
01:00:11,083 --> 01:00:12,292
Nothing, Colonel.

1266
01:00:15,250 --> 01:00:17,917
Nothing, indeed.
I'll jolly well go and find out.

1267
01:00:18,208 --> 01:00:19,917
Nurse!

1268
01:00:22,708 --> 01:00:23,750
Ow!

1269
01:00:23,958 --> 01:00:25,167
Ooh, lovely, girls!

1270
01:00:25,500 --> 01:00:28,417
[clamoring]

1271
01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:29,542
Ooh, lovely girls!

1272
01:00:30,333 --> 01:00:32,958
Me leg! Me flaming leg!

1273
01:00:33,167 --> 01:00:36,958
- No! No!
- Allow me, Nurse, please.

1274
01:00:37,375 --> 01:00:38,250
Mr. Bishop!

1275
01:00:38,417 --> 01:00:39,667
It's all right, Nurse I used my left.

1276
01:00:39,833 --> 01:00:41,708
What about me perishing leg?

1277
01:00:41,875 --> 01:00:43,500
- Are you all right?
- Yes, thank you.

1278
01:00:43,667 --> 01:00:45,375
Look, I hope I haven't hurt him.

1279
01:00:45,542 --> 01:00:46,917
Look, now you go back to bed, Mr. Bishop.

1280
01:00:47,083 --> 01:00:48,292
Okay.

1281
01:00:48,458 --> 01:00:50,542
Nurse, call the houseman
to look at Mr. Able's jaw.

1282
01:00:52,167 --> 01:00:54,167
Colonel, will you go
back to bed this minute!

1283
01:00:54,333 --> 01:00:56,625
I haven't had time to lay the odds.

1284
01:00:56,792 --> 01:00:58,833
Now, then, Mr. Hickson.
What's happened to you?

1285
01:00:58,958 --> 01:01:01,917
Nothing, Nurse. I always sleep like this.

1286
01:01:03,125 --> 01:01:04,958
I'll soon get you that meal.

1287
01:01:06,833 --> 01:01:09,792
He's fine. He'd like some steak and chips.

1288
01:01:09,958 --> 01:01:13,333
You can have a little
sterile water...for breakfast.

1289
01:01:13,500 --> 01:01:15,333
Now, lie still
and don't let that needle slip.

1290
01:01:15,500 --> 01:01:16,375
Understand?

1291
01:01:16,542 --> 01:01:17,417
Yes, Nurse.

1292
01:01:17,583 --> 01:01:18,875
Come out of here now.

1293
01:01:23,042 --> 01:01:25,250
You see that man over there
without any trousers?

1294
01:01:25,417 --> 01:01:26,500
Oh,
yes.

1295
01:01:26,667 --> 01:01:28,375
Well, get some on him and put him to bed.

1296
01:01:28,542 --> 01:01:29,750
Yes, Staff.

1297
01:01:29,917 --> 01:01:31,375
[hiccupping]

1298
01:01:42,792 --> 01:01:44,375
Fingers in ears.

1299
01:01:44,542 --> 01:01:46,167
This is ridi-- [hiccups] ...culous.

1300
01:01:46,333 --> 01:01:47,958
Drink.

1301
01:01:48,125 --> 01:01:49,542
I've clone it, Staff.

1302
01:01:49,708 --> 01:01:51,208
- Good.
- [hiccups]

1303
01:01:51,375 --> 01:01:52,667
Take over here.

1304
01:01:54,375 --> 01:01:55,375
Fingers in ears, please.

1305
01:01:55,542 --> 01:01:56,458
I can't.

1306
01:01:56,625 --> 01:01:57,708
Come on, now.

1307
01:01:57,875 --> 01:01:59,292
I think I'm going to be sick again!

1308
01:02:02,625 --> 01:02:05,625
[hiccups]

1309
01:02:09,208 --> 01:02:10,958
Is Mr. Able's jaw broken?

1310
01:02:11,125 --> 01:02:12,875
I hope not.

1311
01:02:13,042 --> 01:02:15,292
You said it was going
to be that kind of a night.

1312
01:02:15,458 --> 01:02:16,625
Excuse me.

1313
01:02:16,792 --> 01:02:18,292
Oh, he's perfectly all right, Staff.

1314
01:02:18,458 --> 01:02:19,708
Just a drop or two.

1315
01:02:19,875 --> 01:02:21,458
Oh, good show!

1316
01:02:32,792 --> 01:02:33,583
Argh!

1317
01:02:33,833 --> 01:02:35,333
The daft old sluice!

1318
01:02:35,667 --> 01:02:36,917
Oh!

1319
01:02:46,083 --> 01:02:48,708
It's different from the one
in Women's Medical, Staff!

1320
01:02:48,875 --> 01:02:51,333
Wetter, would you say? Now, go and change.

1321
01:02:51,500 --> 01:02:53,083
I can't, Staff!

1322
01:02:53,500 --> 01:02:56,500
I can't see to get to the nurses' home.

1323
01:02:56,667 --> 01:02:58,833
My spectacles have gone down the sluice!

1324
01:02:58,958 --> 01:03:01,958
Nurse, will you take Nurse Nightingale

1325
01:03:02,125 --> 01:03:03,125
to the nurses' home?

1326
01:03:03,417 --> 01:03:04,792
Yes, Staff.

1327
01:03:06,083 --> 01:03:07,292
Thank you.

1328
01:03:18,708 --> 01:03:20,167
Now, when do I have my injection?

1329
01:03:20,333 --> 01:03:21,958
Just as soon as they tell me
to give it to you.

1330
01:03:22,125 --> 01:03:25,292
Oh, the waiting.
The uncertainty. The starvation.

1331
01:03:25,458 --> 01:03:26,542
Oh, gah!

1332
01:03:26,708 --> 01:03:27,833
Oh, don't be such a baby.

1333
01:03:27,958 --> 01:03:29,250
Your op's nothing to worry about.

1334
01:03:29,417 --> 01:03:30,875
My only worry is I won't get it.

1335
01:03:31,042 --> 01:03:32,500
Supposing I lose another clay.

1336
01:03:32,667 --> 01:03:35,125
Oh, Jiminy, what a flaming muddle.

1337
01:03:35,292 --> 01:03:37,042
Ah, Mr. Bell. Back into bed at once.

1338
01:03:37,208 --> 01:03:38,542
Please. You're on this afternoon's list.

1339
01:03:38,708 --> 01:03:40,875
Sister! I could kiss you!

1340
01:03:42,583 --> 01:03:43,792
Ho-ho!

1341
01:03:45,167 --> 01:03:46,125
Mr. Bell!

1342
01:03:46,292 --> 01:03:48,125
Ding-dong. Carry on. [giggles]

1343
01:03:48,292 --> 01:03:50,792
I say, fellows! What do you know?

1344
01:03:50,958 --> 01:03:52,708
Tonight, they're going to talk
about the Health Service

1345
01:03:52,875 --> 01:03:53,875
in At Home And Abroad.

1346
01:03:54,042 --> 01:03:55,958
Oh, I say. What jolly fun.

1347
01:03:56,167 --> 01:03:58,833
Isn't it, Percival? And guess what?

1348
01:03:58,958 --> 01:04:03,083
Last year, the whole thing cost
585 million pounds!

1349
01:04:03,250 --> 01:04:06,083
Get out of it. I don't believe it.

1350
01:04:06,333 --> 01:04:07,958
The man just said so.

1351
01:04:08,208 --> 01:04:11,250
I tell you, it's impossible!

1352
01:04:11,417 --> 01:04:12,708
Ask him again.

1353
01:04:12,875 --> 01:04:14,917
I say, would you mind repeating that...

1354
01:04:15,083 --> 01:04:16,792
[laughs]

1355
01:04:16,958 --> 01:04:17,958
Look, no, I nearly did!

1356
01:04:18,333 --> 01:04:20,042
[giggling]

1357
01:04:23,917 --> 01:04:24,875
Nurse!

1358
01:04:25,042 --> 01:04:26,375
Oh, you haven't injected Mr. Bell.

1359
01:04:26,542 --> 01:04:28,292
Thank goodness.
He can't be operated on today.

1360
01:04:28,458 --> 01:04:30,375
We have eight emergencies
coming to Wells and Parker.

1361
01:04:30,542 --> 01:04:32,125
Road smash.

1362
01:04:32,292 --> 01:04:33,292
Eight?

1363
01:04:33,458 --> 01:04:34,958
That makes my bunion look a bit silly.

1364
01:04:35,125 --> 01:04:36,750
Oh, you'd better put your pajamas back on.

1365
01:04:36,917 --> 01:04:38,792
Yes. Well, no.

1366
01:04:38,958 --> 01:04:40,167
I say, Nurse, can't they squeeze me in?

1367
01:04:40,333 --> 01:04:41,792
I've simply got to be clone today.

1368
01:04:41,958 --> 01:04:43,167
I'm surprised at you.

1369
01:04:43,333 --> 01:04:44,875
I didn't think you'd be so selfish.

1370
01:04:45,042 --> 01:04:46,208
Self
ish.

1371
01:04:46,375 --> 01:04:47,708
If you knew what depended...
Oh, by Jiminy!

1372
01:04:47,875 --> 01:04:49,917
Look...Look, I've got a whole schedule.

1373
01:04:50,083 --> 01:04:51,542
The bunion can wait. I can't.

1374
01:04:51,708 --> 01:04:53,708
I-- I'm going to discharge myself. Ooh!

1375
01:04:53,875 --> 01:04:54,958
But you can't possibly do that.

1376
01:04:55,167 --> 01:04:56,417
If anything should happen to you--

1377
01:04:56,583 --> 01:04:57,833
What could possibly happen from a bunion?

1378
01:04:57,958 --> 01:04:59,125
You never know.

1379
01:04:59,292 --> 01:05:00,875
There was an article
in the Nursing Mirror--

1380
01:05:01,042 --> 01:05:02,625
I don't want to hear.
I just don't want to hear.

1381
01:05:02,792 --> 01:05:04,792
Well, don't do anything hasty.
You think about it.

1382
01:05:07,208 --> 01:05:10,917
I say, Nurse...
could I have something to eat?

1383
01:05:14,375 --> 01:05:16,292
Where do you think you're going, Mr. York?

1384
01:05:18,792 --> 01:05:20,042
America?

1385
01:05:20,208 --> 01:05:21,917
I'm applying for a job.
What's your problem?

1386
01:05:22,083 --> 01:05:23,958
Oh, I, uh, I want the bath.

1387
01:05:24,167 --> 01:05:25,875
Suppose you fall with the drain in you.

1388
01:05:26,042 --> 01:05:27,542
No, Mr. York. Back to bed, please.

1389
01:05:27,708 --> 01:05:28,958
BUt It's been six days now!

1390
01:05:29,167 --> 01:05:30,667
I've been picked up twice by radar.

1391
01:05:30,833 --> 01:05:32,917
Oh, please let me have a proper bath.
I'll be careful.

1392
01:05:33,167 --> 01:05:34,125
Nurse Dawson!

1393
01:05:34,292 --> 01:05:36,375
[York] America, that's um...

1394
01:05:36,542 --> 01:05:37,333
Yes, Staff?

1395
01:05:37,958 --> 01:05:39,875
See that Mr. York
doesn't fall over in the bath.

1396
01:05:41,958 --> 01:05:43,292
Look, I don't think I...

1397
01:05:53,292 --> 01:05:54,500
Not undressed yet?

1398
01:05:54,667 --> 01:05:56,125
I think I'll just have a good wash.

1399
01:05:56,292 --> 01:05:58,208
If Staff says you're to have
a bath, you have a bath.

1400
01:05:58,375 --> 01:05:59,542
But, look, all I--

1401
01:05:59,708 --> 01:06:00,792
Oh, you baby!
Shall I help you get undressed?

1402
01:06:00,958 --> 01:06:02,417
No!

1403
01:06:02,583 --> 01:06:05,875
Oh, come along, come along.
We haven't all clay.

1404
01:06:18,333 --> 01:06:19,542
Well?

1405
01:06:25,583 --> 01:06:26,917
Right?

1406
01:06:30,333 --> 01:06:31,750
[giggles]

1407
01:06:31,917 --> 01:06:33,875
To think I called you a baby!

1408
01:06:35,583 --> 01:06:37,625
[indistinct chatter]

1409
01:06:42,042 --> 01:06:43,292
For the first time in my life,

1410
01:06:43,458 --> 01:06:45,250
I can't think of anything to say.

1411
01:06:45,417 --> 01:06:46,833
Neither can I.

1412
01:06:46,958 --> 01:06:48,167
Wonderful, isn't it?

1413
01:06:48,333 --> 01:06:49,083
YES.

1414
01:06:49,542 --> 01:06:50,833
Darling, why can't you be clone tonight?

1415
01:06:50,958 --> 01:06:53,375
I told you, darling.
The theaters are in use.

1416
01:06:53,542 --> 01:06:54,958
They're not. I just passed them both.

1417
01:06:55,208 --> 01:06:56,333
Ah!

1418
01:06:56,500 --> 01:06:58,042
So they finished
the emergencies earlier, eh?

1419
01:06:58,208 --> 01:07:00,625
Hmm... Well, bully for them.

1420
01:07:00,792 --> 01:07:03,083
Look, it's only a bunion.
I'm going to discharge myself.

1421
01:07:03,250 --> 01:07:05,542
Jacky, no, I told you, I won't allow that.

1422
01:07:05,708 --> 01:07:07,417
Your health comes first.

1423
01:07:07,583 --> 01:07:10,208
I'd never forgive myself
if anything happened to you.

1424
01:07:10,375 --> 01:07:12,792
Besides, I shouldn't enjoy our little trip

1425
01:07:12,958 --> 01:07:14,833
one little bit for the worry.

1426
01:07:15,083 --> 01:07:17,042
Now promise me.

1427
01:07:17,208 --> 01:07:18,833
All right, darling.

1428
01:07:18,958 --> 01:07:21,750
It's only one clay, I suppose.
I'm being done tomorrow.

1429
01:07:21,917 --> 01:07:23,917
And being starved today.

1430
01:07:24,083 --> 01:07:27,208
Oh, Megsy, darling. Give me a bite.

1431
01:07:27,375 --> 01:07:28,417
Jack, whatever's come over you?

1432
01:07:28,875 --> 01:07:30,708
I'm... I'm just hungry, that's all.

1433
01:07:30,875 --> 01:07:31,958
Why, what's the matter with you?

1434
01:07:32,208 --> 01:07:33,750
Nothing's the matter with me, Jack.

1435
01:07:33,917 --> 01:07:34,708
I'm all right.

1436
01:07:37,458 --> 01:07:38,583
Tell me.

1437
01:07:38,750 --> 01:07:40,708
Are you serious about going to America?

1438
01:07:40,875 --> 01:07:43,875
Is that really your concern, Mr. York?

1439
01:07:44,042 --> 01:07:45,625
YES.

1440
01:07:45,792 --> 01:07:46,958
Let me warn you.

1441
01:07:47,167 --> 01:07:49,375
Hospitals have a strange effect
on most men.

1442
01:07:49,542 --> 01:07:50,708
They imagine...

1443
01:07:50,875 --> 01:07:52,750
Well, they think they're in love
with the nurses.

1444
01:07:52,917 --> 01:07:55,417
It happens every week to every Nurse.

1445
01:07:55,583 --> 01:07:57,542
I don't think it's imagination.

1446
01:07:57,708 --> 01:07:59,208
You do.

1447
01:07:59,375 --> 01:08:01,292
We'll have to find out who's right

1448
01:08:01,458 --> 01:08:03,500
before you go to America.

1449
01:08:03,667 --> 01:08:05,167
Right now, I'm going back inside.

1450
01:08:05,333 --> 01:08:08,292
I think you ought to do the same.

1451
01:08:12,708 --> 01:08:13,667
Hello, what have you got there?

1452
01:08:13,833 --> 01:08:14,792
What?

1453
01:08:14,958 --> 01:08:16,792
Oh. Hey, help me and the boys kill these.

1454
01:08:16,958 --> 01:08:19,500
- I'm just in the mood.
- Mood?

1455
01:08:24,375 --> 01:08:27,625
It's no good, I've simply got to dance.

1456
01:08:27,792 --> 01:08:30,042
- [all laughing]
- ♪ <i>La, la, la, la, la</i> ♪

1457
01:08:30,208 --> 01:08:32,042
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

1458
01:08:32,208 --> 01:08:33,458
♪ La, la, la... ♪

1459
01:08:33,625 --> 01:08:36,167
Oh, shut up and sit down.

1460
01:08:36,333 --> 01:08:38,417
Do you want Sister to catch us?

1461
01:08:38,583 --> 01:08:41,958
Clumsy beast.
Might have broken my arm off.

1462
01:08:42,167 --> 01:08:45,625
I could have set it for you, Mr. Hinton.

1463
01:08:45,792 --> 01:08:47,708
It's easy.

1464
01:08:47,875 --> 01:08:49,542
All in this book.

1465
01:08:49,708 --> 01:08:52,042
Wakefield's Practical Surgery.

1466
01:08:52,292 --> 01:08:53,958
Fascinating.

1467
01:08:54,125 --> 01:08:57,958
That book. What's it say about bunions?

1468
01:08:58,292 --> 01:09:00,875
Page 275.

1469
01:09:01,042 --> 01:09:02,958
Easy as winking.

1470
01:09:03,167 --> 01:09:05,292
Do-it-yourself surgery.

1471
01:09:05,458 --> 01:09:08,167
Easy as drinking. Winking.

1472
01:09:09,833 --> 01:09:11,208
Do mine.

1473
01:09:12,500 --> 01:09:15,500
What? Huh? Who? Me?

1474
01:09:15,667 --> 01:09:17,333
Well, you said you could do it.

1475
01:09:17,500 --> 01:09:19,833
I'm a nucl... A nu...

1476
01:09:19,958 --> 01:09:21,042
Well, I'm not a doctor.

1477
01:09:21,417 --> 01:09:23,833
Look, it's all science. You've got a book.

1478
01:09:23,958 --> 01:09:25,958
Surely a man of your brains
could knock off

1479
01:09:26,167 --> 01:09:29,042
a little elementary thing like a bunion?

1480
01:09:29,208 --> 01:09:30,833
Well, supposing I did.

1481
01:09:30,958 --> 01:09:33,042
What would you tell the hospital people,

1482
01:09:33,208 --> 01:09:34,667
with your bunion gone?

1483
01:09:34,833 --> 01:09:36,083
Well, I'd...I'd just say

1484
01:09:36,250 --> 01:09:38,792
it disappeared in the middle of the night.

1485
01:09:38,958 --> 01:09:40,167
Pfft! Just like that.

1486
01:09:40,333 --> 01:09:41,875
They'd write you up in the Lancet.

1487
01:09:42,042 --> 01:09:43,333
I don't care if they stick me

1488
01:09:43,500 --> 01:09:44,875
on the front cover of the <i>Police</i> Gazette,

1489
01:09:45,042 --> 01:09:47,583
so long as I get
my snogging in as planned.

1490
01:09:47,750 --> 01:09:50,292
But this loud-mouthed windbag
won't help me.

1491
01:09:50,458 --> 01:09:52,292
He drinks my bubbly, oh, yes,

1492
01:09:52,458 --> 01:09:54,542
but he won't remove my bunion.

1493
01:09:54,708 --> 01:09:58,083
How could I?
What about an operating theater?

1494
01:09:58,250 --> 01:09:59,708
Both theaters are free.

1495
01:10:04,250 --> 01:10:07,958
All right. I'll try.

1496
01:10:08,167 --> 01:10:09,083
Oh, clear.

1497
01:10:11,125 --> 01:10:11,958
Hello!

1498
01:10:12,167 --> 01:10:13,500
[all] Hello.

1499
01:10:13,667 --> 01:10:14,958
Hello, Mick, old man, we're just
having a little party.

1500
01:10:15,125 --> 01:10:16,667
Well, make the most of it.

1501
01:10:16,833 --> 01:10:17,958
Why? Is something up?

1502
01:10:18,125 --> 01:10:20,250
Only Matron's blood pressure

1503
01:10:20,417 --> 01:10:22,542
after last night's little riot.

1504
01:10:22,708 --> 01:10:26,125
Well, tonight she's posting
a nurse to sit in the ward.

1505
01:10:26,292 --> 01:10:27,708
All night.

1506
01:10:27,875 --> 01:10:30,125
Just to keep an eye on you lot.

1507
01:10:30,292 --> 01:10:31,500
Goodnight.

1508
01:10:31,667 --> 01:10:33,208
Goodnight, old Mick.

1509
01:10:33,375 --> 01:10:35,625
Well, what a pity.

1510
01:10:35,792 --> 01:10:37,458
We won't be able to do it now.

1511
01:10:37,625 --> 01:10:39,792
Got to stay in the ward.

1512
01:10:39,958 --> 01:10:42,042
Wait a minute. Now listen, boys.

1513
01:10:42,333 --> 01:10:43,583
Strategy.

1514
01:10:43,750 --> 01:10:44,875
Now, if there's one thing
I did learn in the ring,

1515
01:10:45,042 --> 01:10:46,208
it's strategy.

1516
01:10:46,375 --> 01:10:48,167
How to turn a disadvantage
to your advantage.

1517
01:10:48,333 --> 01:10:50,208
Well, you're not
in the ring now, so shut up.

1518
01:10:50,375 --> 01:10:52,500
Oh, please! Do you mind, Oliver?

1519
01:10:52,667 --> 01:10:54,292
Now look. Gather round, lads.

1520
01:10:54,458 --> 01:10:57,958
You too, doc. Come over here.
Come on, come on, come on.

1521
01:10:58,167 --> 01:10:59,833
Now, look, here's what we do.

1522
01:10:59,958 --> 01:11:02,500
This nurse could be
our strategic opportunity.

1523
01:11:30,375 --> 01:11:31,542
[Yelps]

1524
01:13:04,458 --> 01:13:05,292
Nurse?

1525
01:13:05,458 --> 01:13:06,667
Uh...sir.

1526
01:13:16,917 --> 01:13:17,583
[water flowing]

1527
01:13:31,833 --> 01:13:33,583
Right, wash his feet with ether soap.

1528
01:13:33,750 --> 01:13:34,792
That's the green liquid.

1529
01:13:35,083 --> 01:13:37,917
[groans]

1530
01:13:46,083 --> 01:13:48,083
Now, listen, chaps.

1531
01:13:48,250 --> 01:13:50,958
Antiseptic liquid soap, green.
There it is.

1532
01:13:57,792 --> 01:14:00,250
No, no, I wasn't serious.
It was only the champagne.

1533
01:14:00,417 --> 01:14:02,208
No, really.

1534
01:14:02,375 --> 01:14:03,583
Get on there.

1535
01:14:03,750 --> 01:14:04,958
But you must-- You must--

1536
01:14:05,125 --> 01:14:06,542
This is the stuff.
It's all nicely labeled.

1537
01:14:06,708 --> 01:14:08,375
Very efficient
in these hospitals, aren't they?

1538
01:14:10,292 --> 01:14:11,958
[gasps]

1539
01:14:12,167 --> 01:14:13,833
Oh, it's...it's freezing!

1540
01:14:13,958 --> 01:14:15,125
And so it should be.

1541
01:14:15,292 --> 01:14:16,583
Ooh, it's-- it's freezing my foot off!

1542
01:14:16,875 --> 01:14:18,167
Wouldn't have to worry
about the bunion then,

1543
01:14:18,333 --> 01:14:19,625
would you, Jack? [chuckles]

1544
01:14:19,792 --> 01:14:21,125
Stop larking about, Bernie.

1545
01:14:21,292 --> 01:14:22,708
And go and get me some antiseptic.

1546
01:14:22,958 --> 01:14:24,042
Antiseptic, right.

1547
01:14:24,208 --> 01:14:25,417
Now, then.

1548
01:14:25,583 --> 01:14:26,833
You know, it says here
that you should apply this

1549
01:14:26,958 --> 01:14:28,250
with a swab and forceps.

1550
01:14:28,417 --> 01:14:30,333
We don't have time for all the trimmings.

1551
01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:32,625
Such as an anesthetic.

1552
01:14:32,792 --> 01:14:34,125
Now-- now, look.

1553
01:14:34,292 --> 01:14:36,708
I don't want to go on with this.
I must have been mad.

1554
01:14:36,875 --> 01:14:38,875
When everything's going so well so far?

1555
01:14:39,042 --> 01:14:40,167
Don't be so ungrateful!

1556
01:14:40,333 --> 01:14:41,500
After all the trouble we've taken?

1557
01:14:41,667 --> 01:14:42,708
Antiseptic.

1558
01:14:42,875 --> 01:14:45,125
Ah, right. There we are. That's it.

1559
01:14:45,292 --> 01:14:46,917
That should do. Now, what's next?

1560
01:14:47,083 --> 01:14:48,750
Uh... five cc's pentothal.

1561
01:14:48,917 --> 01:14:50,375
Hmm... Intravenous injection.

1562
01:14:50,542 --> 01:14:53,042
I wonder where they keep the intravenous.

1563
01:14:53,208 --> 01:14:54,375
Now, wait a minute!

1564
01:14:54,542 --> 01:14:56,333
Do you want this operation or not?

1565
01:14:56,500 --> 01:14:59,250
I-- I don't want any of you
practicing darts on me.

1566
01:14:59,417 --> 01:15:00,750
But you must have an anesthetic.

1567
01:15:00,917 --> 01:15:02,667
- There's always this, you know.
- Uh-uh!

1568
01:15:02,833 --> 01:15:05,333
Gas. I... I don't mind gas.

1569
01:15:05,500 --> 01:15:08,583
Ah. Gas. Mmm, that's the Boyle's machine.

1570
01:15:08,750 --> 01:15:11,583
But he's got a bunion.

1571
01:15:11,750 --> 01:15:13,667
The Boyle's machine! It's over there.

1572
01:15:13,833 --> 01:15:15,250
It's full of nitrous oxide or something.

1573
01:15:15,417 --> 01:15:17,167
Wheel that in and get it flowing.

1574
01:15:17,333 --> 01:15:18,250
Right.

1575
01:15:18,417 --> 01:15:20,250
Right, now what do we need?

1576
01:15:20,417 --> 01:15:21,958
It's like making a cake, innit?

1577
01:15:22,292 --> 01:15:22,958
Shut up.

1578
01:15:23,625 --> 01:15:25,958
Esmarch's bandages.
They're made of rubber.

1579
01:15:26,125 --> 01:15:27,500
Three inches wide.

1580
01:15:27,667 --> 01:15:29,167
We wrap them tightly round
his leg, like a tourniquet.

1581
01:15:29,333 --> 01:15:32,125
You two get those.
And put on masks and gowns.

1582
01:15:32,292 --> 01:15:33,458
Right. It's exciting, innit?

1583
01:15:34,500 --> 01:15:35,958
Won't be long now.

1584
01:15:36,208 --> 01:15:38,583
Hello? Frying tonight.

1585
01:15:38,750 --> 01:15:40,542
Not you, you idiot! Him!

1586
01:15:41,125 --> 01:15:43,333
Look, I don't think
I will have gas after all.

1587
01:15:43,500 --> 01:15:46,458
[muffled speech]

1588
01:15:59,500 --> 01:16:01,292
Cor blimey.

1589
01:16:01,458 --> 01:16:03,667
They've gone and clone it,
like they said they would.

1590
01:16:09,333 --> 01:16:11,625
Nu...

1591
01:16:11,792 --> 01:16:13,875
Mr. Hinton!

1592
01:16:14,042 --> 01:16:14,750
Humphrey!

1593
01:16:18,875 --> 01:16:20,125
Mr. Hinton!

1594
01:16:24,458 --> 01:16:26,583
Mr. Hinton!

1595
01:16:34,500 --> 01:16:36,958
Right, now start unwinding from the foot,

1596
01:16:37,125 --> 01:16:40,125
but leave a bit of bandage
at the top of the leg.

1597
01:16:40,292 --> 01:16:42,708
Now I need a scalpel
to cut the surface of the skin.

1598
01:16:42,875 --> 01:16:43,875
[laughs]

1599
01:16:44,042 --> 01:16:45,750
Right, two small artery forceps...

1600
01:16:45,917 --> 01:16:47,208
Oh, big 'uns. Make it big 'uns.

1601
01:16:47,375 --> 01:16:48,750
Nothing but the biggest and the best.

1602
01:16:48,917 --> 01:16:50,708
- An osteotome.
- What's that?

1603
01:16:50,875 --> 01:16:53,583
It looks like a chisel
but it has two sharp sides.

1604
01:16:53,750 --> 01:16:54,667
Two? Oh, good!

1605
01:16:54,917 --> 01:16:56,042
[laughs]

1606
01:16:56,208 --> 01:16:59,708
A fine saw. A needle and cat gut.

1607
01:16:59,875 --> 01:17:02,375
That's right, sew a button on it.

1608
01:17:02,542 --> 01:17:04,292
[laughs]

1609
01:17:04,458 --> 01:17:05,708
Better give him some more gas.

1610
01:17:05,875 --> 01:17:07,292
We can't have him giggling all through.

1611
01:17:07,542 --> 01:17:08,917
Most distracting.

1612
01:17:09,083 --> 01:17:10,125
I agree.

1613
01:17:10,292 --> 01:17:11,708
[laughs]

1614
01:17:11,875 --> 01:17:12,750
What's the matter with you?

1615
01:17:12,917 --> 01:17:14,708
Nothing. [clears throat]

1616
01:17:14,875 --> 01:17:16,333
Let's get the knives.

1617
01:17:16,500 --> 01:17:17,417
[both laughing]

1618
01:17:17,583 --> 01:17:19,042
[snorting]

1619
01:17:24,417 --> 01:17:26,542
[laughter continues]

1620
01:17:30,292 --> 01:17:34,167
[all laughing]

1621
01:17:39,208 --> 01:17:42,625
Mr. Hinton, wake up.

1622
01:17:42,792 --> 01:17:45,250
Wake up, please!

1623
01:17:45,542 --> 01:17:47,583
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

1624
01:17:47,750 --> 01:17:48,875
These'll do.

1625
01:17:49,042 --> 01:17:51,167
[laughter]

1626
01:17:55,458 --> 01:17:56,417
[raucous laughter]

1627
01:17:56,708 --> 01:17:58,208
What's the matter with you lot?

1628
01:17:58,375 --> 01:17:59,667
I've got a bunion!

1629
01:17:59,833 --> 01:18:00,667
[laughs]

1630
01:18:00,833 --> 01:18:02,792
I've got the giggles.

1631
01:18:02,958 --> 01:18:05,333
Will you stop mucking about?

1632
01:18:05,500 --> 01:18:07,208
I don't know what's got into you.

1633
01:18:07,375 --> 01:18:10,250
Yes, I do!

1634
01:18:10,417 --> 01:18:13,458
You careless cruiserweight, you!

1635
01:18:13,625 --> 01:18:14,625
Lightweight.

1636
01:18:14,792 --> 01:18:16,833
I thought so. You let this thing run--

1637
01:18:16,958 --> 01:18:19,792
[starts laughing]

1638
01:18:21,333 --> 01:18:23,542
[laughing] Hold... Hold this
over his mouth...

1639
01:18:23,708 --> 01:18:26,583
and I'll start cutting.

1640
01:18:26,750 --> 01:18:29,750
Say-- say, Oliver, what happens
if anything goes wrong?

1641
01:18:29,917 --> 01:18:33,375
We-- we'll have to amputate your leg!

1642
01:18:33,542 --> 01:18:36,958
[all guffawing]

1643
01:18:39,667 --> 01:18:41,667
Humphrey!

1644
01:18:41,833 --> 01:18:45,292
This... This is Percival calling you!

1645
01:18:48,583 --> 01:18:50,208
I'm...I'm sorry, mates.

1646
01:18:50,375 --> 01:18:51,458
[bell rings]

1647
01:18:51,625 --> 01:18:53,375
[laughter continues]

1648
01:18:55,042 --> 01:18:57,458
No! No, stop it! You're tickling!

1649
01:18:57,625 --> 01:18:58,958
I thought you were asleep.

1650
01:18:59,125 --> 01:19:00,750
Here, hold him, for goodness' sake.

1651
01:19:00,917 --> 01:19:03,417
[all laughing]

1652
01:19:04,958 --> 01:19:09,125
[raucous laughter]

1653
01:19:09,417 --> 01:19:11,042
[bell rings]

1654
01:19:11,333 --> 01:19:12,333
Nurse?

1655
01:19:12,583 --> 01:19:14,500
Asleep on duty, eh?

1656
01:19:17,792 --> 01:19:18,792
Argh!

1657
01:19:20,250 --> 01:19:22,042
[muffled screams]

1658
01:19:22,667 --> 01:19:23,667
Oh!

1659
01:19:28,667 --> 01:19:31,583
Mr. Hinton, what is the meaning of this?

1660
01:19:33,167 --> 01:19:34,875
- Thank you, Staff.
- What happened?

1661
01:19:35,042 --> 01:19:36,750
They all went to the operating theater.

1662
01:19:36,917 --> 01:19:39,125
To the-- [scoffs]

1663
01:19:39,292 --> 01:19:40,583
Nurse! Please let me explain!

1664
01:19:40,750 --> 01:19:43,375
Mr. Hinton, please give me back
my uniform!

1665
01:19:43,542 --> 01:19:44,458
Mr. Hinton!

1666
01:19:44,625 --> 01:19:46,542
Ooh! Ooh, no!

1667
01:19:49,417 --> 01:19:52,292
Elevate the capsule...

1668
01:19:52,458 --> 01:19:55,625
and the...periosteum.

1669
01:19:55,792 --> 01:19:59,708
Well, where is his peri... peri...

1670
01:19:59,875 --> 01:20:02,625
No, he's made all wrong.

1671
01:20:02,792 --> 01:20:05,750
Gentlemen... he hasn't got one.

1672
01:20:05,917 --> 01:20:07,500
[chuckles] He must have.

1673
01:20:07,667 --> 01:20:10,500
All right, there's the diagram,

1674
01:20:10,667 --> 01:20:14,208
you find his pendi... his peri...

1675
01:20:14,375 --> 01:20:16,042
pe.. you...

1676
01:20:25,042 --> 01:20:27,125
Can't find his periscope.

1677
01:20:29,167 --> 01:20:30,333
Swabs.

1678
01:20:30,500 --> 01:20:31,208
Nurse!

1679
01:20:31,500 --> 01:20:33,500
Yes, Staff. Beg pardon.

1680
01:20:35,417 --> 01:20:37,167
[laughs] Silly me.

1681
01:20:38,667 --> 01:20:42,250
Will somebody give me a bottle?

1682
01:20:45,417 --> 01:20:46,667
Well, if it doesn't happen today,

1683
01:20:46,833 --> 01:20:48,292
I don't know what I'll do.

1684
01:20:48,458 --> 01:20:51,083
All my arrangements
are already up the spout.

1685
01:20:51,250 --> 01:20:52,667
It's frustrating, you know.

1686
01:20:52,833 --> 01:20:54,833
[laughing] Yes. I can imagine.

1687
01:20:54,958 --> 01:20:56,667
I hope you don't mind my burdening you

1688
01:20:56,833 --> 01:20:57,750
with my troubles like this.

1689
01:20:57,917 --> 01:20:59,167
No, no, not at all.

1690
01:20:59,333 --> 01:21:01,500
Besides, looks like they're over.

1691
01:21:02,125 --> 01:21:04,292
Ah, Mr. Bell! Time for your injection.

1692
01:21:06,792 --> 01:21:07,792
At last!

1693
01:21:09,042 --> 01:21:10,167
Oh!

1694
01:21:10,333 --> 01:21:12,417
That's the best news I've ever...

1695
01:21:12,583 --> 01:21:13,458
[sneezes]

1696
01:21:13,625 --> 01:21:14,417
What was that?

1697
01:21:14,583 --> 01:21:15,625
What? What was what?

1698
01:21:15,792 --> 01:21:17,625
You sneezed. You've got a cold.

1699
01:21:17,792 --> 01:21:19,042
Quite so.

1700
01:21:19,208 --> 01:21:20,250
Well, you can't have
an operation with a cold.

1701
01:21:20,417 --> 01:21:21,833
Oh, don't be so ridiculous.

1702
01:21:21,958 --> 01:21:23,083
[sneezes]

1703
01:21:23,250 --> 01:21:25,500
I haven't got a cold on my bunion.

1704
01:21:25,667 --> 01:21:26,958
Now, come along inside.

1705
01:21:27,125 --> 01:21:28,833
I've never heard anything so... [sneezes]

1706
01:21:28,958 --> 01:21:30,625
in my... [sneezes]

1707
01:21:30,792 --> 01:21:32,208
Nurse! Nurse!

1708
01:21:32,375 --> 01:21:33,667
Uh, y-yes, Sister.

1709
01:21:33,833 --> 01:21:35,375
Get Mr. Bell into the other
side ward immediately.

1710
01:21:35,542 --> 01:21:36,583
Oh,
yes.

1711
01:21:36,750 --> 01:21:37,958
No, Sister. Nurse, no, please, please!

1712
01:21:38,167 --> 01:21:39,458
I-- I'm-- I'm all-- I'm all right.

1713
01:21:39,625 --> 01:21:41,208
Please let me have my operation
now, please.

1714
01:21:41,375 --> 01:21:43,333
Don't stand there infecting
the other patients, Mr. Bell.

1715
01:21:43,500 --> 01:21:44,583
Go with Nurse at once.

1716
01:21:44,750 --> 01:21:46,042
But you don't understand, Sister.

1717
01:21:46,208 --> 01:21:47,708
I-- I-- I must have it today.
I-- I simply must.

1718
01:21:47,875 --> 01:21:49,333
Aah-achoo!

1719
01:21:49,667 --> 01:21:52,208
It's nothing, Nurse.
I'm p-- I'm perfectly all right.

1720
01:21:52,375 --> 01:21:54,417
[sneezing]

1721
01:21:54,583 --> 01:21:56,083
Now come along. Hurry up.

1722
01:21:56,250 --> 01:21:57,292
I haven't got a cold.

1723
01:21:57,458 --> 01:21:58,958
I'm perfectly all right. I'm...

1724
01:21:59,125 --> 01:22:00,500
In you go. I'll collect your things.

1725
01:22:00,667 --> 01:22:02,833
Oh, Megsy, Jack's not all right.

1726
01:22:02,958 --> 01:22:03,917
[sneezes]

1727
01:22:04,167 --> 01:22:07,708
[chuckles]

1728
01:22:07,875 --> 01:22:10,125
Mm... Ah.

1729
01:22:10,292 --> 01:22:12,167
[buzzing]

1730
01:22:13,958 --> 01:22:14,917
[knocking on door]

1731
01:22:15,083 --> 01:22:16,292
Come in!

1732
01:22:17,792 --> 01:22:19,125
Now what?

1733
01:22:19,292 --> 01:22:21,833
Oh, clear. Sounds as if you
don't love me today.

1734
01:22:21,958 --> 01:22:24,333
I don't. You're a naughty old buzzer.

1735
01:22:24,500 --> 01:22:25,958
Now, come along, Colonel, what is it?

1736
01:22:26,167 --> 01:22:28,375
Give that to Mick for me,
would you, please?

1737
01:22:28,542 --> 01:22:29,458
More horses?

1738
01:22:29,625 --> 01:22:31,292
More horses, my girl.

1739
01:22:31,458 --> 01:22:33,083
All right. Just this once.

1740
01:22:33,250 --> 01:22:34,792
But if Sister found out...

1741
01:22:34,958 --> 01:22:37,750
Surely she'd forgive
a student nurse, wouldn't she?

1742
01:22:37,917 --> 01:22:39,167
Hmm! Fat chance.

1743
01:22:39,333 --> 01:22:40,542
Really?

1744
01:22:40,708 --> 01:22:42,958
Perhaps she ought to be
reminded of your status, then.

1745
01:22:43,167 --> 01:22:44,542
Uh, is there anything else, Colonel?

1746
01:22:44,708 --> 01:22:46,833
Let me... Oh, yes, clear.
I'm awfully sorry.

1747
01:22:46,958 --> 01:22:50,542
I dropped my cigars down there.
Would you mind?

1748
01:22:55,667 --> 01:22:56,583
Oh!

1749
01:22:58,958 --> 01:22:59,875
Colonel!

1750
01:23:00,042 --> 01:23:01,792
Sorry, clear. I never could resist it.

1751
01:23:05,375 --> 01:23:06,792
Well, goodbye, everybody.

1752
01:23:06,958 --> 01:23:08,333
[all] Goodbye, Ollie!

1753
01:23:08,500 --> 01:23:10,167
Goodbye, Mr. Reckitt.
Sure you've got everything?

1754
01:23:10,333 --> 01:23:12,417
Quite sure. Thank you, Nurse.

1755
01:23:18,042 --> 01:23:20,417
[humming]

1756
01:23:32,583 --> 01:23:34,083
Staff Nurse!

1757
01:23:34,250 --> 01:23:35,500
Oh, Staff Nurse,

1758
01:23:35,667 --> 01:23:37,500
I forgot to give Mr. York
his final certificate.

1759
01:23:37,667 --> 01:23:38,958
I think you'll just catch him.

1760
01:23:39,167 --> 01:23:41,333
Surely it could be posted, Sister.

1761
01:23:41,500 --> 01:23:43,875
You run after him.

1762
01:23:44,042 --> 01:23:46,167
Yes, Sister.

1763
01:23:59,833 --> 01:24:01,167
Mr. York.

1764
01:24:02,792 --> 01:24:06,917
If I have a date tonight, the name's Ted.

1765
01:24:07,083 --> 01:24:08,667
Ted.

1766
01:24:15,542 --> 01:24:17,042
Hurry up, Nurse.

1767
01:24:17,208 --> 01:24:18,958
There are other things
for you to do, you know.

1768
01:24:19,292 --> 01:24:20,375
Yes, Sister.

1769
01:24:21,750 --> 01:24:23,625
Nurse Dawson!

1770
01:24:23,792 --> 01:24:24,750
[tuts]

1771
01:24:28,208 --> 01:24:29,542
Goodbye, Bernie.

1772
01:24:31,708 --> 01:24:32,500
Jeremy!

1773
01:24:32,792 --> 01:24:34,542
[laughs contentedly]

1774
01:24:34,708 --> 01:24:36,208
- Hello, darling!
- Hello, love.

1775
01:24:36,375 --> 01:24:37,542
Hello, son!

1776
01:24:37,708 --> 01:24:38,958
- Hello.
- [laughs]

1777
01:24:39,125 --> 01:24:40,250
- Do you remember me?
- Mmm.

1778
01:24:40,417 --> 01:24:42,292
- Do you? Got a present for me?
- Mmm.

1779
01:24:42,458 --> 01:24:44,208
Come on, then. Give it to me.

1780
01:24:44,375 --> 01:24:46,625
Oh! [laughs] Ooh, what a punch!

1781
01:24:46,792 --> 01:24:49,125
Come on, give me a kiss. That's lovely.

1782
01:24:49,292 --> 01:24:50,875
- Hello, darling.
- Hello, love.

1783
01:24:51,042 --> 01:24:53,583
Come on, now. [laughing]

1784
01:24:53,750 --> 01:24:55,917
Who taught him that, then? You?

1785
01:25:03,292 --> 01:25:05,292
Right now.

1786
01:25:08,917 --> 01:25:10,292
[Colonel] Come in!

1787
01:25:13,375 --> 01:25:15,208
Hello, hello, hello!

1788
01:25:15,375 --> 01:25:16,667
Hello, Colonel.

1789
01:25:16,833 --> 01:25:18,333
To what do I owe the honor of this visit?

1790
01:25:18,500 --> 01:25:20,333
You're going back into the ward tomorrow.

1791
01:25:20,500 --> 01:25:21,625
That's right.

1792
01:25:21,792 --> 01:25:24,542
We have to carry out just one final test.

1793
01:25:24,708 --> 01:25:26,042
It'll only take a few minutes.

1794
01:25:26,208 --> 01:25:27,208
That's all right.

1795
01:25:33,125 --> 01:25:34,458
Hey, what goes on?

1796
01:25:34,625 --> 01:25:36,958
We're getting our own back on the old boy.

1797
01:25:37,125 --> 01:25:38,625
Oh, he's a sport.

1798
01:25:38,792 --> 01:25:40,125
By the time we're through
with him, he'll need to be.

1799
01:25:40,292 --> 01:25:42,250
[Sister] How fortunate I met you, Matron.

1800
01:25:42,417 --> 01:25:44,292
Matron!

1801
01:25:44,458 --> 01:25:45,625
I have a lot to do today, Sister.

1802
01:25:45,792 --> 01:25:47,250
I must get through my rounds early.

1803
01:25:47,417 --> 01:25:48,417
But I'm afraid everything
won't be quite ready.

1804
01:25:48,583 --> 01:25:49,958
Oh, quite all right.

1805
01:25:50,167 --> 01:25:51,792
I do hope our troublesome Colonel

1806
01:25:51,875 --> 01:25:53,458
won't delay me too long today.

1807
01:25:53,792 --> 01:25:55,625
- [knocking on door]
- [Colonel] Come in.

1808
01:25:56,458 --> 01:25:57,625
Good...

1809
01:25:57,792 --> 01:25:59,875
Colonel! Whatever's going on?

1810
01:26:00,083 --> 01:26:01,583
Come, come, Matron.

1811
01:26:01,750 --> 01:26:04,083
Surely you've seen a temperature
taken like this before?

1812
01:26:04,250 --> 01:26:05,750
Oh! [chuckles]

1813
01:26:05,917 --> 01:26:07,958
Yes, Colonel. Many times.

1814
01:26:08,125 --> 01:26:11,375
But never... with a daffodil.